Girl, Don't Do It!

Guy #1: Mr. “Ex-husband”

2007-06-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

*This kind of guy could also be your ex-boyfriend who you fortunately didn't marry!

If you’ve ever been in a relationship or marriage that ended up being a total nightmare then you know this kind of guy real well. Any chick with common sense wouldn’t get involved with a guy that has the same bad qualities of past boyfriends or husbands! But unfortunately, that’s what far too many sistas do. The guy you’re involved with now reminds you of the fool that you left and yet you still get yourself deeper and deeper in shit all over again!

You left your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend because:

He cheated
He’s broke
He’s abusive
He’s just a complete idiot!
Etc…..

This guy totally ruined your life or at least he tried to. He hurt you bad and put a permanent stain on your pride and self-esteem. This type of guy has made you bitter and now you feel pure hatred toward all men. That’s right, now every guy you meet, you treat like the police treats a black male suspect in the murder investigation of a white soccer mom from the suburbs!

Speaking of murder, if you ever see this guy again you’re liable to kill him! You know it, he knows it and everybody else knows it too! We all know the saying that there’s no fury like a woman scorned. Well this dude can change the way you see the world. Friends you went to high school with and relatives who’ve been around you since you were a baby don’t even recognize you anymore. You don’t talk the same, walk the same, or dress the same all because of this guy. He really put a number on you!

It’s possible that you will change your whole lifestyle because of this asshole….

This is the kind of guy that drives sistas to lesbianism!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Ex-husband” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#2: Mr. “Young, dumb and full of cum”

2007-06-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

If you’re seeing this guy and you’re convinced that you can “mold” him into the perfect man, think again!

Obviously you can tell by this guy's nickname that he’s young. He may be very young, I’m talking 16, 17, 18 young (yeah, some women try to snag ‘em straight off the school bus)! But if you’re a middle-aged woman in your late 30’s or 40’s then you will probably consider a 25 year old guy to be young.

His youth is what attracted you to this guy. He’s likely to be handsome, in great shape, tough, funny…just plain ol’ cool. He may be smart in a “cute” naive kind of way. He’s outgoing and can go all night long, dancing in the night clubs, and screwing in the bedroom! Being with him makes your old (or getting old) ass feel young. You think you’re some vibrant fly chick in your late teens or early 20’s again. But you’re not. And in the beginning his youth will be a turn on but will ultimately become a turn-off. Sooner than later, I guarantee it!

This kind of guy is likely to be immature. He can’t help it; immaturity comes with being young. But girls already mature faster than boys and if you’re significantly older than him then chances are you will be 5-10 times above his level! So don’t give me that “he’s very mature for his age” bullshit. He might not be as “dumb” as his friends and most of the young brothas out here but he’s still dumb as a rock!

And speaking of his friends, expect them to always be around. Young guys love to “hang-out” with each other and his “crew”, “posse”, “gang”, “squad” or whatever they call a group of friends nowadays will always be with him. Young guys are insecure and he’s no different. They hang in groups, all of the time, because individually they’re all weak but as a group they at least appear to be thorough. But you know better…

You do know better, right?

He’s “wild style” for real, and his lifestyle is likely to be just way too fast for you. He may sleep all day and party all night and count on him neglecting the relationship. He’s horny (all the time) and no matter how hard you work to please him while he pleases you he’s guaranteed to look for sex elsewhere. Expect him to cheat on you regularly with younger women closer to his age. But also realize that other older women (especially your female relatives and girlfriends) will basically throw themselves at this guy! Is he young and fine and he has a nice body! Shit!! Girl, it ain’t no fun if your “homies” can’t have none! Broads will be fighting to get a piece of his young and tender ass!

But let’s be honest about the sex: Though I don’t doubt he's a hell of a “warrior” in bed keep in mind that he’s young and therefore inexperienced. This kind of guy is likely to have the “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” mentality. He may give you the best 5 minutes of your life but he’ll be out the front door, sleep or playing video games once you recover longing for more!

Now that I mentioned playing video games, this kind of guy hasn’t grown up so it shouldn't be much of a surprise that he engages (for hours at a time) in mindless juvenile activities. When he’s not running the streets and actually at home, expect him to watch a lot of television, play video games, surf the Internet, talk on the phone, etc.

Some guys that fit this profile have few goals and don’t think too much about the future. They feel that they’re invincible and that nothing bad will ever happen to them. They’re uneducated, unskilled, and stubborn and think they know everything. There are guys that fit this profile who are smart and quite ambitious, but it’s often “blind” ambition. They have goals but are naïve about how to go about accomplishing their goals. This guy is broke and not yet established and because of this he tends to be impatient. He’ll make a lot of mistakes (probably some costly ones) as he goes through the growing pains of young adulthood. Girl, you don’t have time to wait for his ass to grow up!

By the way, instead of being a playa, playa, he might be too damn attached to you. Your relationship might take on a weird mother-son kind of vibe and that ain’t what you signed up for when you first met him!

He’s unsure of himself though he’ll act supremely confident. His false confidence will often cross the line of arrogance. He’s too smart for his own good. He thinks his ass is so slick and he’s likely to take you for granted. He’s selfish and though he may have some feelings for you, he has a “me-first” attitude when it comes to his life and if you’re not careful he’ll take advantage of your genuine love and concerned for him.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Young, dumb and full of cum” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #3: Mr. “Why is he coughing so much…”

2007-06-04T23:37:00.000-07:00

This guy brings about a touchy-touchy subject but sistas we have to face the sad, sad reality…

There are brothas out here who you shouldn’t be touching with a ten-foot pole! Don’t get near this guy. He’s dangerous! He might not stab you or put a bullet in your head but having sex with this guy is a death wish! And don’t give me that “I make him use condoms” bullshit. It takes just one time for you to slip up and forget to tell him to put on the condom or you let him persuade you that it’s all good, and it’s all over, you can call it a wrap because your life has just been shortened by 20 years!

And I wouldn’t sleep with this kind of guy even if he agreed to use condoms! I don’t feel comfortable with latex or any other kind of "tex" being the only thing separating me from a trip to the clinic!

Girl, I’m not even playing, this guy is sick in the head and sick in the body. He’s walking dead and he might not know it or he could be fully aware of it and just not telling you what’s up. You better use all of your five senses when dealing with this guy:

Sight:
They say you can’t tell if someone is sick by just looking at them. The hell you can’t! If you got eyes like microscopes you can! Stay alert, watching this guy like a hawk.

Hearing:
You better keep your ears open, hearing every little thing that he or anyone else says about him. Words no matter how insignificant they seem give you clues on what’s really going on.

Smell:
I don’t know about you but when something just ain’t right, I can sniff it out!

Touch:
You need to do some serious physical examination on this guy. Look and feel for anything weird or abnormal on this guy’s body. Don’t forget to put on strong latex gloves!

Taste:
When you’re sucking his dick, licking his balls, asshole, whatever…let me stop, I’m just fucking with you on this one…

Now, I know the whole five senses thing is me being a bit silly but the point is this guy should be avoided at all cost! He could be diagnosed with a STD, cancer, HIV/AIDS, or any kind of infection, syndrome, disease, virus, injury, disability, etc. He may show symptoms or he may not.

Just be honest: Whatever it is he’s got, this guy is sick. He’s always going to the doctor and missing work. His friends and family always look sad, always overly concerned about him and may treat him like he’s already dead! You hear rumors about him from those in the community. When you met him he “looked” healthy and now he “looks” sick, losing weight, taking medication, always depressed….

Of course if he’s gotten to that point it’s probably too late!

Girl, it’s not a matter of if he dies but when he dies! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Why is this guy coughing so much…” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #4: Mr. “Wanna-be the next Jay-Z”

2007-06-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

Back in the day every brotha wanted to be in a singing group like the Jackson 5 or in the band like the Commodores or Earth, Wind & Fire. Now it seems like every guy want to be a rapper!

This guy’s a huge Hip-Hop fan; in fact he’s totally obsessed with it! He listens to Hip-Hop music all day and all night long. He spends much of his time watching Hip-Hop videos. His “breadth” of knowledge centers around anything Hip-Hop related. Homeboy is a “student” of Hip-Hip. He knows who’s hot and who’s not in the rap game. He has studied the background of his favorite rappers, knowing all of the littlest details about them. If Hip-Hop music and culture was a college course he would have a 4.0!

Now he may sound like your average music fan but he’s much more than that. He actually believes that he’s going to be a rap star! How funny it that shit? This fool actually believes that he is going to become rich and famous, rapping on stage and starring in music videos surrounded by half-naked women! Umm..I don’t think so! Homeboy is a big-time dreamer! That’s what he does all day, sits around day-dreaming that he's going to be a big rap star! All he talks about is what’s he’s going to do, where he’s going to go and what he’s going to buy when he becomes a rap star.

He’s always writing rhymes and rapping around the house. At almost anytime you can catch this fool mumbling lyrics of some stupid song he wrote to himself or posing in the mirror pretending that he's at a photo shoot for the Vibe magazine or on the red carpet at the Grammy’s. He may be “solo” or apart of a group which is even worst because then you’ll have to deal with his silly-ass friends hanging around writing rhymes, “rehearsing” and having “pow-wow” sessions about how they’re going to take over the rap game. If he has at least some ambition (and some money) he may spend time “in the studio” and even doing little local shows. But don’t expect any collaborations with Jay-Z or him going on tour with Ludacris anytime soon!

He is a phony, going around trying to walk, talk, dress and act like a rap star. In his mind he is already a rap star and therefore he tries hard (but unsuccessfully) to adopt the lifestyle that he thinks big-time rap stars have. He may be conceited, loud and obnoxious. He may use his self-proclaim status as an up-and-coming rapper to try to get “groupie love” from silly-ass chicks that fall for his act. He plays Mr. Big Shot in front of other guys, especially other wanna-be rappers, making them think that he’s well on his way to stardom.

The bottom line with this guy is that he’s a freakin’ dreamer, a liar who has either very little talent or none at all! He’s the type of guy that can’t hold down a job, often quitting or getting fired and never seem to care because, after all, he’s “going to be a star”! He’s wasting his entire life away convinced that he’s going to be a rap star. It’s just not ever going to happen! Don’t get caught up in his lies and wishful thinking. You and him must face reality. He’s a damn fool and he’s making a fool out of you.

By the way, guys who want to be singers, music producers, CEO of record labels, music video directors, actors….brothas who want to be entertainment stars or businessmen all fall in this category!

The sad thing is that while most guys who fall in this category are in their 20’s, there are far too many brothas well into their 30’s (Lord knows I hope there aren’t any actually in their 40’s!) who still think they’re going to be platinum-selling rap artists! Give me a break!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Wanna-be the next Jay-Z” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #5: Mr. “Wanna-be pro baller”

2007-06-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

Drive by (but don’t stop) past basketball courts in your ‘hood. What do you see? All over the country there are men playing basketball (football and other sports) strictly for recreation but within these groups of men are bitter, frustrated, under-achieving, so-called athletes that sincerely believe that they have what it takes to make it at the pro level!

This piece of work is often arrogant. He may be a health nut that works out in the gym all of the time. I admit he may very well be a good looking brotha with a great body! But so what! His obsession with being in shape may cause him to be hard on you! He may hold you to physical standards that you don’t have any interest in meeting. See, the guy lives his life as if he’s actually a pro athlete so therefore he “expects” the woman he’s with to be perfect. He figures you wouldn’t see Kobe Bryant with a “regular” chick so why should he be with one.

Every sista knows a guy like this. He is the kind of guy that is obsessed with sports (especially the sport or sports that he plays). He watches sports on television non-stop. His favorite television channel is ESPN. He’ll watch the same sport highlights over and over again. He tries to attend professional sporting events as much as he can. Much of his income (he doesn’t have much) goes toward sport jerseys, hats, head and wristbands and other sports apparel. He reads sports magazines and the sports section in the newspaper is probably the only part of the paper he’s ever seen. He may spend a lot of time in sports bars drinking and debating with his friends, the bartender and complete strangers about all things sports.

All of what I said in the above paragraph may seem like normal guy “stuff” but this guy takes it to the extreme. His entire life is defined by sports. Outside of it, homeboy has no personality and it basically boring. He’s likely to be caught up in his past when he played sports in high school. He’s your classic jock with the classic “entitlement” jock mentality.

He is a dreamer, plain and simple! He may waste his time playing in summer, spring, adult leagues (or whatever the hell he calls it). He may try out for semi-pro or by some chance get invited to try out for professional teams. Girl, he won’t make it! He’s just doesn’t have it. He’s too slow, too fat, too old, too stupid…or all of the above.

Look, we all have had dreams, things that we wanted to do in life that just didn’t happen for us. I feel this guy’s “pain” (Ok, I’m lying, I don’t give a damn about his dreams..) but he needs a plan B, C, D…and maybe even plans E, F and G! This guy may be suffering with depression over never making it in pro sports. He’s often unemployed or holding down some dead-end job hoping that his sorry ass life will one day soon make a 360 degree transformation and he’ll become a rich and famous (or at least rich) pro athlete.

In his “glory days” maybe he was pretty good; even real good. Maybe he had (or at least had a chance to have) an athletic scholarship and attended college. Maybe he had to stop playing due to a “career-ending” injury. Maybe he actually played sports at the collegiate level. But the point is, whatever his “story”, he is not a professional athlete with a multi-million dollar contract and multi-million dollar shoe and other endorsement deals and he never will be!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Wanna-be pro baller” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#6: Mr. “Treats my loved one like shit”

2007-06-04T23:34:00.000-07:00

You can see by this guy's nickname that you’re not involved with this clown, your sister, girlfriend or some other loved one is. But even though he’s not your man, because you are so close and care so much about her, naturally you’re close to the relationship.

This guy mistreats your loved one. He treats her just like his nickname says-like shit!! He yells at her, insulting her by calling her terrible names. He’s the jealous type that often accuses her of cheating on him. Most likely she’s not though she should be! Anyway, this asshole is likely to be very abusive toward her. If your loved one and him have kids he’s abusive to them as well. The kids fear him and so does your loved one. He’s a selfish guy that has no respect for your loved one (or anybody else) and takes advantage of her any chance he gets. He’s likely to be cheating on her and you’re likely to know about it.

He might have even tried to hit on you!

He is an insecure punk that is likely to be an underachiever. Now he might be successful which could be part of the reason why your loved one stays with him (he gives her “stability”). But it’s much more likely that he's a nobody.

Anyway you slice it, this is a bad guy and your loved one should have left him a long time ago!

But your girl is in love with this fool! That’s how love is; it’ll make a fool out of a person. But it hurts you to see your girl used and abused by this fool. It ain’t even worth it, but no matter how much you try to get her to leave him she stays. This guy knows that he has her under his control. He preys on her weaknesses. If she ever tried to leave who knows what he’s liable to do! To see this happening to your girl breaks your heart.

This kind of man could be involved with your sister, cousin, mama, aunt…any other female close to you.

Why is this guy on the list?

Because the relationship that your loved one has with this chump will sour you on ever becoming too serious and getting married. The relationship started out great but you have watched the relationship gradually (or quickly) go from made in heaven to dwelling in hell! You may be the type of woman that takes your time when it comes to men and relationships. You “have friends”, you go out on dates and have a good time but you don’t have anything serious going on with anybody. But your loved one falls hard and quick for a guy and has plain ol’ bad luck when it comes to men.

Being so concerned about her might affect the relationship that you’re in because you’re likely to invest so much of your time making sure that she’s ok, meanwhile your perfectly healthy relationship gets “sick”. When someone you love is getting screwed over by a guy it’s only normal for you to want to take care of her and fight her battle for her. Now you can’t find or keep a good man because you’re too busy trying to help her straighten out her love life.
So, if someone you love is involved with Mr. “Treats my loved one like shit” and you think one day you might actually get married....

Girl, don’t do it!!

(Your husband could end up being ten times worst than this fool!)

Guy#7: Mr. “Too embarrassing”

2007-06-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

There are various reasons why this guy may be too embarrassing to be out in public with:

He’s ugly
He’s too short
He’s too tall
He talks funny
He can’t dress worth a damn
He’s too passive
He’s too confrontational
He’s too loud
etc…..

I’m sure you could add more possible reasons why being out in public with this guy is a complete disaster. Being embarrassed in front of friends, family, co-workers, neighbors or complete strangers is not a good feeling. But if you’re involved with this guy it’s going to happen over and over again. You may try to change him or make it so that the things about him that embarrass you will at least be something you can deal with. But girl, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re not the problem; he is.

To be fair, a guy like this might have good intentions. You and him may truly love each other. But in the long run homeboy’s more of a liability than an asset. Because regardless of how well you carry yourself, this guy is a joke and therefore you too become a joke. Once you sleep with him, move into his place and start cooking his meals, it ain’t so easy to distance yourself from him when he’s trying to hold your hand or slob you down in public!

The only thing that might save you from constantly being embarrassed by this guy is if he’s a home-body type or if you just keep your ass at home all of the time while he goes out and makes a fool of himself! But when he does you can bet that someone you know is going to see him and either call you or pay you a personal visit to give you all of the details.

Bottom line: This is the kind of guy that will make your social life miserable, and even after you leave him for the rest of your life you’ll regret the fact that you were ever linked to this guy and while you try to carry on as if he never existed, you won’t be able to because your family and friends will never let you forget about him!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Too embarrassing” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#8: Mr. “Temp and part-time”

2007-06-04T23:32:00.001-07:00

Should you be happy that this guy at least has a job??

I don’t think so…

Yes, he might be employed, but he has no stability. He works silly temp jobs that obviously don’t last, don’t pay very much and don’t lead to any meaningful employment. Or he has a part-time job, only working 20 or less hours a week bringing home small paychecks. He has what I call a “right now” attitude; he only thinks about the here and now. He lives for the moment. He doesn't give much thought to his future. He’s a classic underachiever.

He might be smart, talented and full of potential. But likely he's not too smart at all with few prospects for the future. He does “just enough”. He has enough sense to know that he needs income and he seeks and finds some form of employment. But he doesn’t have enough sense to know that it’ll take more effort on his part if he ever wants to truly get ahead in life. But he just might not have much ambition. He’s the type of guy that is easily content with how his life has turned out, no matter how grave his situation is.

Often a guys that fit this profile is just plain ol’ lazy! They lack confidence and has never been pushed in his life. No one has ever challenged him. He’s been coddled his entire life. It’s highly likely that this guy has spent most of his adulthood living with family and friends. He doesn’t have many obligations. If he did (and some do) he couldn’t handle the challenges anyway. He’s an immature person that has never grown up and he lives his life like a high school teenager.

Expect this guy to be unskilled and uneducated though he may be educated and skillful and not simply reaching his full potential or he could have been successful in the past, experienced failures, and has never been able to get back on his feet. Ultimately this guy is dependent on others (YOU) and completely comfortable in his own skin in being a part-time, temporary loser! If it’s just important that the man you’re seeing sometimes has a job or works a little bit then this guy may be perfect for you. But if you want a real man, one that is hardworking, stable and responsible, all I can say is…

If you’re involved with Mr. “Temp and part-time” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #9: Mr. “Fake T.D. Jakes”

2007-06-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

I must say that I know this guy well. I grew up in the church, dated Christian brothas and even messed around and married one! The divorce wasn’t pretty!

This brotha is a religious fanatic. God, God, God…Jesus, Jesus, Jesus....Allah, Allah, Allah…Hallelujah!! This is pretty much what you can expect from this guy. I called this guy Mr. “T.D. Jakes” after the popular Christian bishop, but a guy that fits this profile doesn’t have to be Christian. He could be Muslim or apart of some other religion. His entire life is devoted (at least he pretends that it is) to being “holy” and “righteous”.

What this guy often turns out to be is self-righteous! He presents himself as someone who is perfect and above everyone else. He’s tries to speak with authority and confidence and often leads others to believe that the words that come out of his mouth are fact and not just his personal perspective on things. Expect this guy to be old-fashioned and very outspoken, having an authoritative opinion on every subject even those who he clearly knows absolutely nothing about.

Now I have a lot of respect for religious folks. I think a woman that gets involved with a hard-working, respectful, God-fearing man is on the right path toward possible happiness. But it’s all about “degrees”, remember that, and the degree in which this guy lives a religious lifestyle is off the charts!

In spite of presenting himself as living such a disciplined, responsible lifestyle, the reality is this guy tends to be irresponsible and unstable. His so-called “spiritual life” might be on the highest level but his personal and professional life is often a joke! See, many guys who fit this profile are unsuccessful in other aspects of their lives so they embrace religion because it makes them “feel good” and gives them authority and credibility in the eyes of the community (especially women in the church). This kind of guy may not even have a job because he’s so “involved” in church work and if he is actually employed, then it’s at some dead-end job.

The funny thing about many guys that fit this profile is that they’re hypocrites! He may talk all of the usual religious, Bible-quoting, Koran-quoting stuff, but he doesn’t practice what he preaches! He may speak against drinking but he get pissy drunk on Saturday night and he's the first in church Sunday morning! He may get his freak-on, on nightclub dance floors, and be the first one through the door when the church opens. While he proclaims total devotion to you in reality he’s out chasing half-naked chicks in the streets and nightclubs and holy-roller women in the choir!

Some guys that fit this profile are “laypeople” in the church but most at the minimum have aspirations of holding prominent positions in the church such as serving on the deacon board or in the ministry.

This kind of dude may actually believe that he’s well on his way to becoming the next T.D. Jakes, living the life of the “fat cat” preacher with a mega church, mansion, luxury cars, $3,000 suits, front cover of the Time magazine, the whole works!

I say to that: There’s not a chance in Heaven or Hell that will ever happen!

Yeah, girl, it’s likely that he’s a total fraud, fooling you and others that he’s on that stairwell to heaven when in fact he’s on that “slick-ery” slide to the depths of hell! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Fake T.D. Jakes” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#10: Mr. “Broke ass Sugar Daddy”

2007-06-04T23:30:00.000-07:00

First of all, this guy is almost always old. Maybe he’s real old. That’s what a sugar daddy is, an old guy. The difference between this guy and the traditional sugar daddy is that this guy is broke!

But of course all sugar daddies have several things in common. They all love younger women and this guy is no exception. His love of younger women borders on the pervert level however. He’s a weird character and his lifestyle can only be described as pathetic and a little bizarre. He’s a horny guy, watches a lot of porn, reads nuddie magazines and is a regular at strip clubs. He plays “Big Willie” to all of the women he meets acting like he’s living large. This fool thinks he’s a playa for real! He’s flirtatious, always trying to charm a young chick and get into her pants if he’s lucky. He has no game and makes a fool of himself every day, several times a day.

Now he may have had it going on when he was younger! The image he tries to portray may have fit him 20 years ago but now he’s just a sad, pathetic shell of what he used to be. He may have been a sharp dresser…in the 70’s or 80’s, but nowadays this clown has no clue! Though he could be the type who thinks he still young and embarrassingly tries to dress, walk and talk like the guys from this generation. He may ride around in his car (probably a Cadillac or a Lincoln) listening to gangsta rap! But if he’s really “old school”, expect him to play cassettes and 8-tracks of his favorite soul and funk groups from back in the day.

If you’re involved with a guy like this he’ll try to control you. Because he’s older he figures he can play both your lover and your father! He thinks he knows every damn thing and will pretty much tell you how you should live your life. He lives a dull life and the relationship bores you to tears, though he may try hard to be “active”, partying all-night long, which is even worse because he will make himself and you both look stupid!

The guy may be in poor health and you’ll end up having to take care of him. That might be worth it if he had money to leave you in the “unfortunate” case of his death. But his old ass is broke! If he’s still working, he has a low-paying, blue collar job and if he’s retired he’s receiving little in retirement income and benefits. And as far as sex…forget about it! This Viagra popping, one-minute gray-haired brotha no longer has what it takes to please anyone in bed except maybe himself.

By the way, though most guys that fit this profile are old, younger guys can be sugar daddies. How? Because you have plenty of broke and pathetic brothas in their late 20’s and 30’s chasing after young girls barely out of high school!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Broke ass Sugar Daddy” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#11: Mr. “Straight-up punk”

2007-06-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

Who wants to be with a punk?

Now I’m not saying that I want to be with a gangsta either (see #27) but if there’s one thing that I can’t stand is a soft-ass guy. A man is a MAN, strong, thorough, in-control (but not dominating), respected; able to take care of his woman, his kids and himself. Can’t nobody push around a real man. This kind of guy might be very intelligent but then again he might be dumb as hell. But I don’t care how many other positive or negative qualities he might have, being soft trumps them all! No chick should be tougher than her man! And I’m not just talking about physically tough. Most chicks I know can’t stand no weak-minded man!

If your man is a punk, believe me, everybody knows it. Being a punk is a label that sticks with a guy for all of his life and the only way he can change that perception is by going around talking shit and knocking other dudes out! But he ain’t cut out for that. Once a guy is labeled a punk, once he has that reputation, others will prey on him, whether it’s on the job or in the streets. If you’re out in public with this kind of guy other guys will blatantly flirt with you right in front of him! Other chicks will clown you, laughing as they walk past or right to your face! People can sense weakness in others.

That brings me to another point: Some so-called tough guys are really punks; they just haven’t been exposed yet!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Straight up punk” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #12: Mr. “Something just ain’t right about him”

2007-06-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

You can’t exactly put your finger on it but there’s something about this guy that just doesn’t sit right with you or everybody else! On the surface he seems like a normal guy but deep down he has some unresolved issues that may or may not come to light at some point in the relationship. This is the kind of guy who you have serious doubts about when it comes to being with him for the long haul. He might give you the best 30 days of your life but after that the rest of your time spent with this guy will have you stressed-out and tense.

For real, for real, this guy is probably crazier than a damn bed bug! He’s completely unpredictable. You don’t know what he’s going to say or what he’s going to do. You can’t completely open up to him about yourself because you don’t completely trust him. He can turn your entire life upside down in an instant. Maybe’s he’s quiet-too quiet. He’s the type that others just don’t feel completely comfortable around. He may be strange, weird and even comes across downright creepy at times. This guy is often 90-95% normal but it’s the 5-10% of his personality that you have to worry about.

The main reason why you feel a little uneasy about this guy is because you just don’t know much about him. He’s mysterious, his past is largely unknown. He may have no friends and speaks little or if at all about his family. At first this may appeal to you, you may find him intriguing and your family and friends may think he’s a really “interesting” guy. Girl, don’t get caught up in all that! Dude got some issues and when you least expect it, those issues will rid their ugly heads and you will be caught up in some shit!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Something just ain’t right about this guy” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #13: Mr. “Somebody in the family will sleep with him or kill him...or both”

2007-06-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

Keep it in the family?

Let me just go ahead and put it out there: If your man is fine and successful then it’s much more likely that someone in your family will sleep with him before anyone else does. Relatives like sisters, cousins, aunts, even your mama have first dibs on your man before your friends, co-workers, neighbors, or bitches you don’t know can get their hands on him.

Why? Because they may easily spend just as much time around him as you do. Girl, that’s why you shouldn't be so pressed to bring your man to all of your family’s many functions! If your cousin is having a cook-out, leave his ass at home and bring him a plate when you get back! Because if he shows up, the females in your family will see him as if he’s a juicy piece a meat about to be put on the grill!

This guy may have been involved with a relative of yours before he got involved with you. This may be a well-known fact or it may be a secret. That previous relationship could come back to haunt you one day. If he’s slept with someone in your family before what’s stopping him from doing again! It’s possible that he was even rejected by one of your relatives before he got involved with you. Or maybe he rejected the advances of one of your relatives. But now that you and him are together the turn-on of sneaking around on the down-low is just too much temptation for him and the relative!

Now I know I said that if your man is fine and successful that someone in your family is likely to sleep with him but he can be ugly as doo-doo and an overall complete failure in life and there is still a chance that he will fool around with someone in your family. Why, you ask? Because you and I both know that there are women in your family who are desperate! They are single or divorced, lonely or outgoing, bitter or sweet, overweight, underweight or the perfect body, poor or independently financial secure, ugly or freakin’ beautiful…but regardless of the many ways you could describe them one thing that they all have in common is that they don’t have a man!

They’re man-hungry and that means any man (so that doesn’t exclude yours) is fair game!

By the way, did you notice that I’ve used the word “relative” when speaking of a family member who could end up sleeping with your man? Well, I did that on purpose because let’s be honest, you can’t assume that the relative is a female. The person that may end up screwing your man and causing a devastating (and embarrassing) scandal in your family might be one of your openly gay or “creeping on the down-low” male relatives!

Murder was the case…

If your man is an asshole or you have people in your family that are assholes then there’s a real possibility that one of your relatives will kill your man! It could be a brother, sister, your sister’s husband, daddy, cousin, mama, granddaddy, grandmama, one of your kids…anybody who has your blood or linked to your family through marriage!

How will he get killed?
Hell, I don’t know, someone in your family might shoot him, stab him, throw him off the roof of your mama’s house, run his ass over in a car, poison his plate at the family reunion…

Who knows?

Yeah, this guy might be loved by everyone in your family, respected by all of your male relatives and lusted after by all of your female relatives or…

In this case, he can be hated by everyone in your family with them all placing bids to see which one of them gets the pleasure of taking his ass out! If someone in your family is likely to kill him then it’s obvious that he’s not well liked by your family. But it could be that he just has a problem with one person in the family. But sometimes that’s all it takes to turn a family reunion deadly.

I don’t want to make judgments attempting to determine what would justify your man being killed by one of your relatives. But maybe he badly mistreats you, beating you up whenever he feels like it. Maybe he mistreats your kids. Maybe he’s a thief always stealing from people in your family. Or maybe he’s just the type of guy who is always talking shit thinking he can intimidate others in your family until a relative finally gets tired of it and puts some bullets in his ass! Better yet, maybe he gets caught cheating on you with someone in your family in which that case you end up being the one to take his ass out!

There could be many motives for killing your man and many possible candidates in your family who could end up doing it. The point is this guy lives the kind of life in which unfortunately it’s likely that someone will take his ass out. And just like someone in your family is likely to sleep with him before a chick out on the street will, on the flip side of that, someone in your family is likely to put him six feet deep before any of his worst enemies on the street will.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Somebody in my family will sleep with him or kill him...or both” and you think one day you might marry actually this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#14: Mr. “Sleep all day and party all night”

2007-06-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

First of all, this guy is lazy!! I give him the first part of his name for a reason! A big portion of his life is spent sleeping! Anytime from 6 in the morning until 3, 4, 5 o’clock in the afternoon, he is in the bed, on the couch, stretched out on the floor, sitting on the toilet or lying in the bathtub-sleep! When you come home from work he’s just getting up and when you’re getting ready for bed he’s about to start his day or shall I say his night.

He’s the kind of guy that is rarely seen in the daytime. He can’t be found anywhere. He’s a night person. He’s addicted to the club scene though he may not be much of a club go-er at all. He could be the type who is simply addicted to the streets which means that he loves to “hang out” with his friends on the corners drinking, smoking and laughing it up.

Homie has a lack of focus and he’s too carefree about life. You can expect him to be irresponsible. He’s had many experiences due to the lifestyle that he lives yet he’s very much immature and naïve. In some ways he lives life like an average teenager would. Often, this kind of guy is young; in his 20’s. However, there are plenty of brothas in their 30’s & 40’s that live life this way-basically never growing up.

He’s a loud and popular guy who knows where all of the hot spots are in the city. This guy loves to have a good time and if you’re a chick that likes to party you will enjoy being around this guy. As a matter of fact, you probably will meet this guy at a party. But if you care anything about reality and you value hard work and overall success in life than his fun-loving, party-all-the-time attitude will become annoying and a huge turn off.

You can almost bet that this guy is either unemployed or hardly ever working. Any job he does manage to hold on to is temporary and dead-end status. This of course means that he’s always broke! But it doesn’t take much to party. Give this guy some cheap beer, cheap cigarettes and cheap drugs and he’s straight! When he’s not sleep, he’s drunk and high off weed, heroin, crack, meth, who knows! This fool lives his life as if he thinks he’s P. Diddy dancing on top of tables! He thinks he’s living the “high life”, but in reality he’s a loser that doesn’t have much of life and he’ll probably be old and washed-up before he ever realizes it.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Sleep all day and party all night” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#15: Mr. “Schemes and Scams”

2007-06-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

This guy is quite a character and one of the ones on the list that will get your ass locked up or in a huge financial mess if you ain’t careful!

First off, this guy is a liar! He’s a pathological liar. He lies about any and everything. He’s a self-centered guy only concern about his own interest. His biggest interest is money and materialistic things yet most of the time he will be broke with little if any assets to his name! He badly wants to succeed, indeed, he’s quite ambitious. But he’s not interested in working hard to get what he wants. He’s constantly on the look out for the short cut to success. He will lie, steal or cheat to get what he wants but he will often fail because though he’s smart, he’s not nearly as smart as he thinks he is!

This kind of guy is a con man. He thinks he’s smarter than the average guy. He might be but he misdirects his intelligence. He thinks he’s smarter, more polished, than the average street thug. In a way he is, but the bottom line is-crime is crime! That’s right; some guys that fit this profile are criminals!

Don’t assume that this guy is a crook however. He might be a straight-up “square” with no intention of committing crimes and going to jail. If this guy’s not a criminal, he’s a wanna-be entrepreneur that has started countless numbers of failed businesses that didn’t succeed largely because he has never been willing to work hard and make the necessary sacrifices that businesspeople have to make if they want to be successful.

I can guarantee you that regardless of whether he commits crimes or not, this guy lacks morals and principles. He has no ethics and betrays others seemingly without a conscious. He will betray you! He will sell his soul to get what he wants. He doesn’t respect anyone else and has no respect for himself. This brotha can’t be trusted at all by anyone! His own mama doesn’t trust him as far as she can throw him! So why should you? He doesn’t even trust himself! He’s an opportunist; a sneaky muthafucka that’s always up to something.

He works…

Works??

Hell no, this fool doesn’t work!!

The majority of guys that fit this profile are unemployed…indefinitely! They have no plans to get a job because scheming and scamming is their full-time job and they work overtime at it! This kind of guy will think he’s “too smart” and “too good” to hold down a job. He has big plans (which change daily) to get rich and they don’t involve filling out applications and W2 forms. He may be educated but many guys that fit this profile are “self-educated” which means that they know a very little bit of many different things. So in reality, they don’t know much at all. This guy seeks “knowledge” to use it recklessly with a mischievous purpose.

As confident as he pretends to be, this guy is very insecure and likely to be downright intimidated by life. He seeks “get rich quick” ways to success because he fears hard work and challenges. He really has little if any faith in his abilities and is counting on “lucky breaks” to achieve success. This guy will end up in jail or bankrupt (or both). His never-ending “questionable” activities will bring him down and he doesn’t care who goes down with him. Girl, you can’t let nobody bring you down!

So if you're involved with Mr. "Schems and Scams" and you think that one day you might actually marry this guy...

Girl, don't do it!!

Guy#16: Mr. “Really thinks 30 is the new 20”

2007-06-04T23:24:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more pathetic than a guy who never grows up!

Now I don’t have anything against rapper/businessman Jay-Z but ever since he came out with the song, “30 something”, you have brothas in their 30’s (or older) that really actually believe that they’re still kids! They think they’re so damn cool! Actually, there has always been brothas with this mind set way before the release of Jay-Z’s song. Only now guys from the Hip-Hop generation have their own little “anthem” to sing along too as they live their lives blind and confused about what it means to be an adult!

And Jay-Z can “afford” to act younger than he really is. His ass is rich!! And he’s doing grown-man business!

Look, brothas in their 30’s are young. I’m in my 30’s and I ain’t no old geezer! But I ain’t a baby either and neither are thirty-something brothas!

As I said before this guy is a product of the Hip-Hop generation. If you’re in your 40’s or you’re a Baby Boomer, you probably think this guy is too young and immature for you anyway. If you’re in your late 20’s and 30’s you know this kind of guy well. You grew up with him. He went to your school and lived in your neighborhood. He was your first boyfriend, the guy that you lost your virginity too, the first guy to break your heart; the one that took you to your high school prom.

But a funny thing happened after high school…

You grew up and became a woman while he never grew up, remaining a naïve, confused boy!

See, no matter how old he gets, this guy resist growing up. He doesn’t want to change. His mentality hasn't changed much from the way it was in high school. He’s way too concerned about trivial things like being cool. He may be cool, but he’s not nearly as cool as he thinks he is. He’s far from old but he’s getting older and he doesn’t seem to realize it. He dresses the same way he did in high school or when he was in his early 20’s. His entire conversation is still filled with “Yo this” and “Yo that”, “That nigga this” and “That nigga that”. He may be a smart guy with a lot of potential but he chooses to sound and act ignorant.

See, that’s what happens when brothas start getting older but they refuse to let go of their younger days-they look stupid. And the thing is, the younger guys and ladies notice it the most! If you’re 30 years old and you think and act like you did when you were 18, something ain’t right. Period. But you can't tell this guy that. The way he sees it, he’s “keeping it real” when in reality he’s keeping it stupid.

Note to Mr. “Really thinks 30 is the new 20”:

Change is not bad. Change is good. Change is apart of life!

Expect this guy to do everything the same way he did it 10+ years ago. He parties all night. He runs the streets hanging out with his boys. Of course, like him, they all fit this profile. This dude is likely to be uneducated and unskilled with no future. He probably doesn’t work or has some menial job and many guys that fit this profile have criminal records. Sure he might be fairly good-looking and decent in bed (some will be ugly and awful in the sack) but the only thing that he really has “going for him” is his “street credibility”.

Wow! He sure can get far in life with that being on his “resume”!

I think not!

This kind of guy may be into young girls and looks at you and other women his age like you all are “old”. Of course, if I were you I wouldn’t care who this guy was involved with as long as it's not me! The bottom line is, this guy is an underachiever that will never amount to much in his life until he matures. He’s going to have to change his entire lifestyle and philosophy. But I wouldn’t be counting on that happening because he is stubborn. When you challenge him on his mind set and the choices that he makes (from his wardrobe choices to the way he interacts with complete strangers in public) he becomes argumentative and confrontational.

He doesn’t want to be challenged he wants to be celebrated. He feels that he embodies Hip-Hop culture (and he does) but doesn’t understand that just because he grows up it doesn’t mean that he becomes less cool; less relevant. In fact, the opposite happens. But this guy just doesn’t get it. And he probably never will…

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Really thinks 30 is the new 20” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#17: Mr. “Porn and sex-crazed freak”

2007-06-04T23:23:00.002-07:00

Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex…..

That’s all this guy thinks about! His entire life is totally consumed by sex. He watches porn (a lot of it) on the Internet and on DVD. He “reads” nuddie magazines. He loves watching hip-hop videos filled with scantily-clad women shaking their asses and everything else their mamas gave them. Whether he’s a recluse or an outgoing “life of the party” type one thing you can be sure of-sex is on his mind day after day and night after night.

Now I love sex as much as the next girl. But don’t mistake this guy’s sexual desire for sexual prowess. In other words just because he’s crazy about sex doesn’t mean that he’s actually any good at it! On the other hand, this guy might be a freakin’ sex machine in bed! But that has it drawbacks because a guy like this is a freak…a real freak! He may be into all kinds of crazy sexual fetishes. This kinky brotha is the kind of guy you don’t take home to mama and you definitely don’t marry!

A guy who is obsessed with sex is unpredictable and downright dangerous. To be frank, while some might simply be obsessed with perverse sexual fantasies, others might actually live out their fantasies and make you a reluctant co-star! Guess what? You may not be his only co-star. This freak is always on the prowl and if he thinks he can actually pull it off, he’ll engage and try to persuade you to get down with threesomes, orgies, swinger parties, sexual acts in public; you name it! I don’t mean to offend (ok, who am I kidding-who cares who I offend) but this guy is a top candidate to give your unsuspecting ass crabs, syphilis, gonorrehea…don’t make me go on!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Porn and sex-crazed freak” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#18: Mr. “Playa, Playa”

2007-06-04T23:23:00.001-07:00

Now I know that just about every sista (including my white, Latino, Asian, Native American sistas, etc.) reading this has known this kind of guy before. And if you think you’ve never come across this kind of guy than you're just in denial! Just about every guy on this list has at least little (or thinks he does) of Mr. “Playa, Playa” in him.

First of all, this guy is arrogant even if he has no reason to be. He carries on thinking that he’s God’s gift to women! He’s sexist and view women as sex-objects. His “mission” in life is to get into the pants of as many women as possible! Oh, he doesn’t discriminate! He sleeps with women of all races, shapes and sizes. He’s a master manipulator taking advantage of venerable women with low self-esteem. He’s a predator that preys on women that are lonely, insecure, etc.

Obviously, you can expect this guy to be unfaithful. He’s addicted to cheating; he just can’t get it out of his system! Even if deep down he has some feelings for you, he will fight it because he believes that men that have “feelings” for women are weak; suckers for love! Homie is emotionless, he goes with what feels good oppose to what feels right. He doesn’t trip off of getting caught because he will lie (he’s a pathological liar) and refuse to take responsibility for his actions. He doesn’t care if hurts the women he gets involved with because he has no conscious.

The guy is a liar and a phony and has no character. If you marry this guy he’ll make a fool out of you and if you have kids with him, he’ll be a poor role model (especially for boys).

I can’t blame you for being involved with this playboy. He’s charming. He has plenty of game. He has a great sense of humor. Playas are a lot of fun to be around. Many are handsome but this guy can come in many forms. He can be ugly as hell and yet there’s something about him that appeals to women. Maybe he has a reputation for being good in bed. When word gets around about his sexual prowess he’ll have good sex-starved women lined-up around the block!

This is one of only a few guys on this list that might actually be successful! Yeah, girl, he might be paid! And if he is, that fact alone would explain why he is such a womanizer. But many guys that fit this profile are losers with not much to show for in their lives other than the “notches on their belts”; all of the women they’ve slept with and left hanging.

What a great guy, huh?

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Playa, Playa” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#19: Mr. “Just plain ol’ dumb”

2007-06-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

There’s one on every block.

There’s one in every family.

There’s one on every job.

This guy is just plain ol’ dumb! Stupid as shit! I could end up right here and all sistas would know exactly the kind of guy that I’m talking about. We all can spot a stupid muthafucka pretty quick. But humor me as I waste typed words, elaborating a little about this fool!

Basically this kind of guy is slow. Slow as in he’s just not very bright or slow as in he’s actually retarded (just hasn’t been officially diagnosed yet)! Now I know some might say that I’m being cruel, but no, I’m telling it like it is! This fool is really a fool, an unskilled, uneducated and lazy bum. He can’t talk worth a damn! Don’t believe me, sit down and try to have a conversation with this guy! I bet he won’t be able to say a complete sentence! He may be American but that doesn’t mean that he can speak English! Half the time you can’t understand what the hell he’s talking about!

He lives a basic, boring, pathetic life. Most are ugly or average and may have some sort of physical deficiency though sadly, you will come across guys that fit this profile who are handsome. What a damn shame! He may come from a family of just plain ol’ dumb losers or he may be the sad, sorry black sheep in a family of geniuses!

This guy lacks ambition (among many other things) and he’s not smart enough to hold down even the most menial job. He’s not like Mr. “Always quitting or getting fired” because he’s too dumb to quit a job before he gets fired! People make fun of him and he’s an easy mark to get taken advantaged of. Others might feel sorry for him reasoning that he’s a “good guy” just with a lot of issues. Well, he can be a good guy but he’s also an idiot, a moron, an imbecile, a halfwit, a dummy, a loon, a dunce, a bonehead or any other word that describes someone stupid!

Still, there was something about this guy that attracted you to him. It’s funny because this kind of guy may be a loser in life but one “big” and skillful winner in bed. That might be enough for you if it’s been a while and you really want to get you some on the late night tip! But...

If you're involved with Mr. “Just plain ol’ dumb” and you think you might actually marry this guy...

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#20: Mr. “Out of the closet and proud of it”

2007-06-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

You get along well with this guy. He may be one of your best friends. He actually listens to you because he values what you have to say. He respects you, understands you and you feel completely comfortable around him. You are as close to this guy as you are around your girlfriends.

Basically this guy is one your girlfriends! He’s acts feminine-from his walk to his talk. He may be a flashy and flamboyant type. He is just over-flowing with personality. He’s the life of the party. He’s full of energy and has a great sense of humor. He’s likely to be quite intelligent with a lot of talent. He’s genuinely concerned about your well-being and really wants to see you succeed in life.

Girl, if this guy wasn’t gay he’ll be the perfect man! But he is gay and I think it’s safe to say that he’s not the man for you! This kind of guy will have many qualities that you love in a man and you two have many things in common. The problem is that just like you, he likes dick! And though he really is a nice guy, being in public with him can be a “challenge”. It can be downright unbearable! I mean, let’s face it, we live in a homophobic society and whenever you’re out with this guy he’s often ridiculed (especially by so-called straight black men).

Being made fun of won’t bother this guy. He’s the kind of guy that is comfortable in his own skin. He wears his “gayness” on his sleeve and doesn’t care what anyone says. He’s gay and proud (and most likely he’s loud) and no matter how hard you try he can’t be converted. He might be a punk though some gay guys are tough as shit! Yeah, some of them can hold their own. Like I said before, this guy comes across as gay and proud and it might look that way on the surface but deep down he could have some serious emotional issues. He may suffer from depression and could even be at the brink of suicide. He may be estranged from his family and friends that he grew up with.

I don’t want to sound stereotypical (even though this entire list of profiles may be just that) but this kind of guy is likely to live a “high risk” lifestyle. I know, I know, just because he’s gay doesn’t mean that he’s promiscuous, right? Ok-if you say so. But the bottom line is that you and this guy are obviously not compatible in the bedroom and every gay guy is one less qualified brotha. So if you’re involved...Well, let me rephrase that:

Even if you actually think you can convert this guy, and get involved with him and actually marry this guy....

Girl don’t do it!

Mission Impossible! You’ll be wasting your damn time because once he gets dick he will never again mess with another chick!

Guy #21: Mr. “On the down low”

2007-06-04T23:20:00.002-07:00

Uh-oh!!

I’m about to start some shit now!

I know all you sistas reading this are thinking to yourself: “Please, don’t let this guy be my man!!” Well, the way things are going down these days, I hate to say it, but there’s a good chance that man you’re involved with could be just like you:

Strictly dick-ly!!

This is the kind of guy that is hard to discover. He’s good at hiding his true identity and he’s been doing it his entire life. He lives his life as a straight man but deep down he has “homosexual tendencies” and has had at least one (but more likely several) homosexual experiences! If you’re involved with this guy and you’re really into him, you may be totally clueless of this. Girl, you have to keep your eyes and ears wide open! No matter how overt, this guy is sure to show some signs that he has a thang for guys!

Now, he may show some feminine traits but don’t count on it. His style of dress may be borderline homo but then again he’s likely to be wearing the typical baggy jeans and oversized t-shirts that guys wear. His talk, walk and the general way he conducts himself might make you suspicious but then again he could carry himself like a perfectly normal homosexual man.

Bottom line is, there’s just something ain’t right about this guy, you just can’t put your finger on it. Maybe he tries too hard to act hard. Maybe he spends entirely too much time with friends; a certain friend in particular. Maybe he’s mysterious and at times is withdrawn. Maybe he works at a women’s clothing store. Maybe it’s the way he wears his hair, the way he smiles, peculiar mannerisms that he has, etc. Maybe he’s really freaky, into kinky sex, such as having you fuck him in the ass with a strap-on! I don’t know what it is about him but...

If you suspect that you’re involved with Mr. “On the down low” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy (Oh, I know you ain’t goin’ out like that, are you?)....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#22: Mr. “Old-fashioned”

2007-06-04T23:20:00.001-07:00

This guy tends to be older; 40 and up. It’s likely that you got involved with this guy because you saw his age as his strength. You felt that by being older, he was naturally more mature and had more life experience. You believed that being with him would give you more stability. If you’re significantly younger than him, then the generational gap will be an issue in your relationship. Because he’s from a different generation, he thinks and lives his life differently than you do. It might be 2007 but he’s still living in the 1950’s! He’s supposed to be your man but he reminds you more of your daddy or grandpa!

Now there are things about old-fashioned guys that you might find appealing. As I said before they’re often mature and stable. They’re hard working and family oriented. They know how to treat a lady, right? Well, opening the door for you when you’re out in public, helping you remove your coat, or letting out your chair at the table at a restaurant are all nice gestures that too many brothas of today just don’t do enough of, but his politeness and respectfulness is only half of what he’s all about.

The morals and values of an old-fashioned guy can often clash with the lifestyle of a modern-day girl and the realities of a modern world. For example, you may be an educated, ambitious, successful, independent woman who believes that a woman should be just as driven as a man to succeed in all aspects of life including corporate America. But this guy still believes that a woman’s “place” is in the home, in the kitchen, to be exact, bare-foot and pregnant, cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids!

This out-of-touch guy will put you through many-of-nights fussing and fighting over your empowering view of life versus his male chauvinist view on society. He seems to be critical of just about everything you do or say. He may be a religious guy that takes what’s in the Bible literally, applying ancient beliefs to his own life and expecting you to do the same. He feels that “the man” is head of the household and that the woman should play a submissive role. He’s a strict disciplinarian toward the kids yelling at them and beating them to the point of abuse.

It’s pretty much a given that this guy can’t dress, his wardrobe from head-to-toe is stuck in the middle of the disco era or even further back. Yet he firmly believes that he’s the coolest most stylish guy in the room. Because he’s old-fashioned that doesn’t necessarily make him boring. He might be quite the character. He might have been a fun-loving, playa, playa back in the day. The problem is those days are long gone. Now the whole “show” that he puts on is just plain ol’ embarrassing. He just doesn’t function well in today’s society. He’s a has-been; a loser.

By the way, though this guy tends to be an older guy, some younger guys are old-fashioned. They’re often “taught” this by older men such as their fathers who they’ve grown up around. Now I will concede that a young guy with an “old soul” is certainly more appealing than a “young and dumb” guy but all I can say is be careful what you ask for because you might think you want the “perfect gentleman” but then once you have him you’ll be turned off by his “caveman-like” views and bored to tears by his stale lifestyle.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Old fashioned” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don't do it!!!

Guy#23: Mr. “Obsessed with me”

2007-06-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

In the beginning of the relationship with this guy you’ll mistake his obsession with you as “cute” infatuation. You’ll welcome all of the attention he gives you. Most guys that you’ve been involved with in the past neglected you. They only called you if they wanted sex (a booty call); they only took you out to a dinner and a movie if they thought you were going to give them some at the end of the night. Most guys seem to have a one-track mind-SEX!

But homie is “different”. This kind of guy actually treats you with respect. He cares about what you think and he’s concerned about your overall well-being. Without a doubt he treats you better than any other guy has ever treated you. Girl, this guy will have you feeling all good about yourself, treating you like a queen. The way he treats you will do wonders to your self-esteem and for a while you’ll feel like the luckiest girl in the world!

But here’s the reality: Homie is completely, totally, obsessed with you!

Don’t mistake obsession with infatuation or love. If you weren’t so blind you would have been able to clearly see from the beginning that this guy is trying to control you. He wants to dominate the relationship. He’s overprotective and at times within the relationship he seems to take on a fatherly role instead of being your man. Yep, this clown carries on as if he’s your daddy!

One of the reasons why he is so controlling is because he’s insecure about himself and even more insecure about the relationship. He probably has gone through disappointing relationships in the past. He’s the type who’s been dumped too many times to count by previous girls or wives. His past relationships failed primarily because of his obsessive nature along with other qualities such as jealousy.

As I said before, the beginning of the relationship will be wonderful but it won’t take long for this guy to begin smothering you. He’ll never let you out of his sight. He’ll make a big deal out of you hanging out with your friends and even go as far as playing “third wheel” when you and your girlfriend go shopping at the mall. He’s the kind of guy that your family will absolutely love until they discover just how possessive he is of you and they haven’t seen your ass in years!

His obsession with you will get so bad that at some point you will become scared to death of this guy! And girl, you should be because homie has serious issues and you don’t know how far he’ll go to make sure that you never leave...can you say, “Murder-Suicide”!

I know, I know, maybe I’m going a little bit too far with that prediction (at least you hope so) but the point is this dude is desperate to get married so that he can “settle down”, raise a family and be in total control of your life. So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Obsessed with me” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#24: Mr. “Not ready yet”

2007-06-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

Guess what ladies...

This is actually a good guy!

Well, for the most part…

Now there are some guys on this list that have good qualities but their bad qualities outweigh the good ones. This guy is overall a good guy. In fact, I dare to say that he’s a great guy. That’s why you fell in love with him. He treats you well. He respects you. He’s hard working. He’s responsible. He cares deeply about you. He gets along with your family and friends. Everybody just loves this guy!

Congratulations girl, you’ve got yourself a good man!!

But...

There’s only one “little” problem...

He hasn’t asked you to marry him yet!!

No big deal, you say...well, ok. But you’ve been seeing this guy for 10 years! An entire decade….and you don’t find it unusual that he hasn’t proposed to you yet?? Well, I do!!

How about the rest of the ladies reading this?

Listen, girl, it’s time for a wake-up call. It’s time for a serious reality check. If he hasn’t married you yet there’s a good chance that he won’t ever!

This kind of guy is stubborn and selfish. He loves you, he truly does, but he’s determined to do what’s in his best interest. Let’s assume that he’s faithful to you, that he’s been faithful throughout the entire relationship. That’s nice. But ask yourself: Is he truly committed? Because if he is, he would make you his wife. There are many possible reasons why he hasn’t married you yet. It’s likely that he’s intimidated by marriage. He loves being with you and everything, but the concept of marriage makes him nervous.

The crazy thing is he doesn’t mind making other commitments when it comes to the relationship. As I said before, he might be faithful to you. Maybe you all have joint credit cards and loans. Maybe you and him have bought cars and houses together. It won’t surprise me one bit if you all have 2, 3...5 or more children together! You and this guy basically have a family, living together as husband and wife and yet he won’t marry you!

This guy is full of excuses when it comes to why he’s not “ready” to get married. He will blame it on finances for example. He may claim that he can’t afford to buy an engagement ring. He may bring up the marriages of others (in your family or his) that have ended in divorce as examples of why you all shouldn’t “rush” to get married or why you all shouldn’t get married at all.

You really love this guy but as more years go by you have to start asking yourself: Does he really love me? You’re just not sure anymore. Your doubt will cause you to question everything that he’s ever said or done throughout the relationship. Why is this guy so bent on not marrying you? Maybe he has a dark past; skeletons in his closet. Maybe he’s already married! Maybe he’s gay...

I know you don’t even want to think about shit like that but you never know!

One thing you do know is that this guy is taking you and the relationship for granted. He wants the relationship to lasts but he wants it to do so on his own terms. You have always been fairly happy with this guy but now being with him is making you more and more upset and frustrated.

This relationship is really stressing your ass out!

You feel like you’ve invested and devoted a significant part of you life to this guy and the relationship but you haven’t gotten much out of it. The relationship may be losing its luster. It may seem boring and stale. You’ve been together with this guy for so long that you feel trapped and you can’t see or imagine life with him. But you’re not sure if you want to continue to live life, this way, with him. You’re ready to take that next step but it’s beginning to feel that as long as you stay in this relationship, unmarried, your life is put on hold; your future is uncertain.

Girl, it’s time to give this guy an ultimatum!

Either he marries you very soon or your ass is gone!

The thing is if this guy does finally marry you, he may always feel that you (and your family) pressured him and practically forced him to do it. Don’t be surprised if once you’ve married to this guy he will begin to change quickly. He will no longer be the man that you fell in love with and wanted to marry all those years. From the moment you walk down the aisle and he reluctantly says, “I do”, the relationship will head downhill...

And then you’ll be thinking...

“Maybe this fool was right! Maybe we should not have gotten married!”

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Not ready yet” and you don’t think this guy will actually marry you one day....

Good!! Who cares! Get out and cut your losses!

Guy#25: Mr. “Married to my girlfriend...or sister”

2007-06-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of guy that can break up friendships and cause conflict among family. He’s involved with your sister of one of your girlfriends (usually your closet one) and if they’re just dating they’ll eventually get married. It’s not surprising that your sister or girlfriend ended up with this guy. She has always had better luck with men than you do. You can think as far back as grade school and she had a cute little boy that all the other girls liked chasing her (playing “hide and go get it”) through the playground.

I hate to go there but there are several things that may explain why she has so much better luck with men than you do. Maybe she’s more attractive. I’m not saying that you’re an ugly ducking but no matter how much you hate to admit it your sister or girlfriend might simply be a beautiful swan! Maybe she’s more friendly and outgoing than you are. She just has an overall better attitude than you do. She’s “approachable” and talkative and you’re “stand-off-ish”, or you give a “you better not say shit to me” vibe and are more confrontational than “engaging” when it comes to conversation.

Now what makes you the way you are and her the way she is?

Well, your harsh dealings with men have a lot to do with your past experiences with them. To be frank, you have been screwed over, figuratively and literally by men. You have nothing but bad memories of relationships from your past and therefore, justifiably so, you’re very cautious about meeting men and becoming involved. You don’t want to be hurt again. Understood. Meanwhile, your sister or girlfriend has had positive memorable relationships that may have soured at some point but didn’t end bitter. And now she’s involved with a brotha (or a guy from another race) who seems to be “the one” while you're single, not seeing anyone special exclusively, instead dating a bunch of losers!

You have to be honest and ask yourself:

Do I make good judgments when it comes to men?

Shit, I’ll answer the question for you...

Hell no!!

Your girlfriend’s man treats her like a queen. The guys you date treat you like dirt. Her man is handsome and successful. The guys you date are average (or worst) and even if they’re handsome they’re not successful. They often lack ambition altogether. She and her man may live in a nice neighborhood and drive nice cars while the guys you deal with are still slummin’ it; walking, catching the bus or driving “lemons” with no desire to get out of the ‘hood.

Her man wines and dines her, takes her on weekend getaways and summer vacations while the brothas you see take you on dates to McDonald’s and Popeye’s and thinks going to outlet malls (to window shop) is a “trip”. Her man buys her nice things; designer clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. The guys you’ve been involved with either don’t buy you anything ever (including your birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas) or gives you cheap ass “Wal-Mart” type of gifts that he was better off leaving in the store!

Her man is faithful (or does a hell of a job of fooling everyone that he is) and the men you’ve been involved with are playas, dogs, straight up “Super Hoes” (remember that Boogie Down Productions joint?) who will practically screw another chick right in front of you if you turned your head for 5 minutes!

I could go on, but, basically, your sister or girlfriend is involved with a King while you’ve had bad experiences throughout the years with the kind of guys profiled on this blog!

It’s likely that you’re jealous of your sister or girlfriend (or both!) and your jealousy causes tension in your relationship with her. I don’t mean to call sistas out but there are some of you reading this blog that are guilty of having an affair with your sister or girlfriend’s (or both!) man. And those of you who haven’t have definitely thought about it! Don’t feel bad (then again maybe you should feel bad) but remember, just because you’ve slept with him doesn’t mean that he’s going to leave her to be with you. The mere fact of the affair means that you and he are going to do all you both can to keep the affair a secret (if yal have any common sense).

So if you’re fooling around with Mr. “Married to my girlfriend” (don’t get caught) or you’re jealous and wish he was your man, keep dreaming because your sister or girlfriend ain’t a fool and only a fool with let go of a man like him!

Guy#26: Mr. “Mama’s boy”

2007-06-04T23:14:00.002-07:00

If there’s one thing I can’t stand is a grown-ass man that is all up under his mama! This kind of guy really irks me. He has never grown up. It doesn’t matter how old he is, he lives life like a kid. Guys that fit this profile have always been too attached to their mamas and it goes back to childhood. Most were raised in single mother households but there are guys who were raised in traditional two parent household that fit this profile.

This guy is a needy type. He’s dependent on others (but specifically his mother) to take care of him. He doesn’t have much of a life of his own. He often doesn’t use his own mind; he’s decisive and needs his mama to tell him what to do in every little situation. His mama controls every aspect of his life. She instructs him on how to dress, how to eat, how he should wear his hair, what kind of friends he should have, etc. And when it comes to women, she is definitely “advising” him on whom he should and should not get involved with.

Now this guy may be very be educated with a promising career. The thing is, all of his success he feels he owes to his mother. She’s the true love of his life. If he is successful his mother will be very proud and very determined to keep him under her reins so that she can benefit most from his successes. She’s guaranteed to be very suspicious of you, questioning your true motives for being with her son. She will do all that she can to break yal up if her son starts spending more time and money on you!

But let’s keep it real: Most mamas’ boys don’t have much going for them! So though he may have it goin’ it's more likely that his sorry ass is broke with no prospects for the future! Shit, if he didn’t have his mama he’ll probably be a bum on the streets!

This guy’s mama will make your life a living hell! She will meddle in your business, 24/7, and it will get on your last nerves! She’s likely to be very critical of you and she’s likely to be brave enough to let you know exactly what she thinks of you. In her twisted mind she genuinely believes that you’re not “good enough” for her son even if he’s a complete loser! And if she does actually like you, you won’t like her.

Mr. “Mama’s boy” is a weak, soft, sensitive, immature and spoiled individual and his mama knows this because she’s the main reason why he’s that way. She takes advantage of his weaknesses and uses her influence over him to get what she wants. The mama of Mr. “Mama’s Boy” might be downright evil. She obviously can’t be trusted. You’ll never feel comfortable around her. You’ll find yourself actually wishing that she was dead!

Mama will always come first for this guy. You’ll be a distant second-if that. The so-called “bond” that he has with his mother is too strong (in a pathetic kind of way) and he will never be capable of having a normal productive relationship with you or any other woman. So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Mama’s boy” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#27: Mr. “Livin’ the thug life”

2007-06-04T23:14:00.001-07:00

“If your status ain’t hood
I ain’t checkin’ for him
Betta be street if he lookin’ at me
I need a soldier…”

-Soldier,
Destiny’s Child

Is this your anthem when it comes to men? If so, then it’s likely that you’re involved with Mr. “Livin’ the thug life”. Now a guy’s status can be “hood” and that doesn’t make him a thug. So for all of you sistas that get involved with good, tough brothas from the ‘hood, good for you. Do what’s right for you is what I say. But there’s a difference between a street-smart tough guy and a straight up thug. The men that fit this profile are the latter. And I shouldn’t even call them men because in reality that haven’t grown up yet and they may never will. They’ll live their entire lives with the same juvenile delinquent, tough kid attitude.

I don’t want to get all social and political about why this guy is a thug. Ok, he is from the ‘hood. He grew up without his father. He grew up in poverty with his single mama slaving to take care of him and his siblings. He didn’t grow up with any positive role models. His role models in the ‘hood were drug dealers, pimps, etc…

Blah, blah, blah...
Yada, yada, yada...

Girl, let’s face it: We’ve heard all of that same ol’ shit before! What else is new? Unfortunately many brothas (and many of us) have grown up like this. And?? That doesn’t mean that you make a bad situation worst, does it?

This dude is a thug, a criminal and if you’re involved with him he’s going to get your ass in a lot of unnecessary trouble!

This kind of guy is often loud to the point of being annoying. He’s popular but for all of the wrong reasons. He’s likely to be very controlling. Don’t be surprised if he's abusive. He might be intelligent but it’s more likely that he won’t be too bright. And even if he is smart, his physical toughness will overshadow his intelligence. He hangs with the wrong crowd. He is the wrong crowd. Most of the people around him, from some of his family members, to the guys he grew up with, to his enemies-are thugs, gangstas, pimps and hoes.

You can take this guy out of the ‘hood but he’s going to be the same no matter where he goes. His dress, walk, talk, conduct and mentality will never change. He resist change, feeling that “the ‘hood made him who he is” (whatever the hell that is) and to change would mean to become soft. He won’t ever be fully comfortable out of his element. He’s straight up ‘hood. He’s “hood...hood!!

If you’re not from the ‘hood you won’t ever be fully comfortable in his element!
This guy is confrontational. He’s an intimidating guy that makes other piss in their pants when he walks by. He’s a fuckin’ bully! He has a reputation on the street for being someone that you don’t want to mess with! Now all of this may sound appealing to you because maybe you’re the type that likes bad boys. But he takes being bad to another level.

This guy is downright dangerous! He’s a violent and totally unpredictable guy that can’t be trusted and has a “by-any-means-necessary” attitude when it comes to getting what he wants.

Maybe he deals drugs. Maybe he commits robberies and burglaries. Maybe he’s a thief. Maybe he’s a pimp (hope he doesn’t try to make a hoe out of you!)Girl, this guy may be a murderer….

Whatever “thuggish” type bullshit ass crimes that you can think of, this guy could very well be committing them right now as you read this!

Don’t expect this guy to have a job. He’s either unemployed or has a menial job that he is guaranteed to get fired from for stealing or beating his supervisor’s ass, etc. It’ll be hard for him to get a job anyway because he’s uneducated, unskilled, unprepared and has the wrong attitude when it comes to job interviews and he’s very likely to have an extensive criminal record. So basically, his only real job prospects will be criminal activities.

And speaking of having a criminal record, this guy doesn’t have a traditional resume. His resume is his criminal record. In his world, it’s not about college degrees and professional experience, instead, it’s all about what street you’re from, what crew or gang you’re down with, how early you dropped out of high school (he didn’t have time for school, he had to “take care of his family”) what crimes you have committed and how many times have your stupid ass been arrested, charged, tried, convicted and sentenced to prison.

He will end up being a bad influence on you. He’s sure to have an on-going conflict with your family. During any given time in his life he’s either in jail, out on parole, on probation or out on the run. This dude has “street credibility”, tattoos, a criminal record, stabbing and gunshot scars but not much else. He lives by a silly, ridiculous, but deadly serious street code. While others have moved on from that nonsense, he’ll be “living the life” until he rots in jail or is put in an early grave.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Livin’ the thug life” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don't do it!

Guy #28: Mr. “Infatuated with black women”

2007-06-04T23:13:00.000-07:00

Why do white men get involved with black women?

Is it love?

Maybe, but the answer to that question in most cases is an emphatic “HELL NO!”

Basically most white men get involved with black women for the same reasons that black men get goo-goo, gah-gah over white women. Some white men (and other non-black men) who get involved with a sista do so not because they actually love the sista for who she is as a person but just because they love the idea of being with a black woman!

The truth is the motives for many of these guys seeking out a black woman have little to do with love and more to do with a fantasy that they have about black women in general. The fantasy is usually heavy in sexual attraction and lust. This kind of guy will bring all of his prejudices and perceived stereotypes about black women with him into the relationship. Maybe this guy likes our “style”. Maybe he’s amused by the way we walk or talk. At least in the beginning of the relationship, he could be turned on by your “attitude”. But to be frank, he’s probably just overcome with horniness over your beautiful, phat black ass!

Look, I ain’t no relationship therapist or anything, but if I could give my “sista-girl” educated guess, I would say that 50% of interracial relationships between a black woman and some other guy who ain’t black is based more on infatuation than genuine love and respect (at least on the guy’s part). And I know that might be a controversial statement, but hell, this whole list is probably seen as controversial to many (except for those who ain’t scared of the truth).

Bottom line: If you’re involved with a guy who ain’t black (and especially if he’s white), depending on his social-economic status, he may take good care of you, but he’s just one step away from leaving your black ass for a bigger black ass (a chick who more embodies his twisted sexual fantasy of black women than you do) or he will “go back home” to some chick of his own kind that would truly make his mama or daddy proud. And if that doesn’t happen, then he’s almost guaranteed to say or do something so blatantly racist that you either will be ready to leave him immediately or kill his ass!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Infatuated with black women” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#29: Mr. “I wouldn’t trust him around my 16-year old niece”

2007-06-04T23:11:00.000-07:00

Now I know some of you readers may be thinking…

“Oh, girl, don’t even go there!”

But yes, I am going there! This guy is an opportunist. If there’s a window of opportunity he’s going to jump through it even it means he may fall to his death. A guy like this is basically an evil, ol’ dirty pervert! If you’re involved with this guy and you have young sisters, nieces, daughters, cousins, next-door neighbors around than you and them better watch out! Because while your head is turned or while you run your mouth, this pervert will smile, flirt and be all up in the young girls’ faces!

He’ll pull out (no, not “it”, at least not yet) every trick in the book that he knows to try to get in a young girl’s pants. Now I’m not saying that this guy is a pedophile. I mean, he might not be “actively” riding around town, visiting high schools, looking for underage girls. But if he thinks...if there’s even a little shred of hope that he can get in some young girl’s pants-he will.

Grown ass men having a thang for young ass girls ain’t nothing new. It’s been going on since the beginning of time and it crosses racial lines. I know yal have checked out NBC Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” where they bust unsuspecting guys who think they’re chatting with underage girls on the Internet and then drive (some times for hours) to meet these underage girls who they believe are home alone. Well, I’ve watched every one of those programs and I’ve noticed that they don’t catch that many brothas!

But don’t be fooled!

We all know that there are plenty of brothas who love messing around with young girls! It’s just that many of them either don’t use the Internet (why get online when they have plenty of “candidates” in their ‘hood?) or they just hardly ever get caught.

If you’re involved with this type of guy, you’ll be a damn fool to bring your fast-ass little niece (or any other young fast-ass girl) around him. But it won’t matter what you try to do to prevent the temptation because a guy like this is guaranteed to be caught with his pants down with some young chick playing all like she’s the “innocent victim”.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “I wouldn’t trust him with my 16-year old niece” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#30: Mr. “I rather be with his friend”

2007-06-04T23:10:00.002-07:00

Great guy...in the beginning of the relationship. When you met him you really thought that he was the one. But once you got involved with him…and met his friend, you realized that you’re seeing the wrong one!! This kind of guy is insecure. He’s paranoid when it comes to the relationship. He’s the jealous type always suspecting you of cheating or always thinking that another guy is trying to get with you. By being with him you make him look good. Unfortunately though, being with him makes you look bad!

Though he may seem pressed to keep you his woman he doesn’t do a good job of it. He neglects you and doesn’t give 100% to the relationship. And even though you have doubts about this guy I bet you make more of an effort to make it work than he does! See, this guy is an underachiever. He underachieves in the relationship and in other aspects of his life. So expect him to be working at some dead-end job and broke.

Now, let’s talk about his friend…

This brotha has it goin’ on!!

Your man speaks highly of his friend and comes across like his cheerleader though your man could easily be jealous of his friend and suspicious that you’re fooling around with him. Oh, how you much you wish that was so!

His friend is better looking. He has a better body. He’s a better dresser. He’s more intelligent. He’s funny. He’s more educated. He drives a better car and lives in a better neighborhood. He has a better reputation. He has a successful career, not a dead-end job. And he has a lot more money!!

Most of the above qualities made are materialistic. So what! But, look, besides all that, he’s simply a better person. He treats you better than your man does. He speaks to you with respect and admiration. He may be flirtatious. Whenever you’re around this guy, you check him out on the sneak tip, flirting with him with your eyes and body language.

Your man’s friend is sure to have a wife and/or girlfriend(s). He’s likely to be a playa but considering how bad your relationship is with your man, you rather be his friend’s main chick or chick on the side than to be your man’s one and only.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “I rather be with his friend” and you think one day you might marry actually this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Go and get with his friend!

Guy#31: Mr. "Homeless"

2007-06-04T23:10:00.001-07:00

Now this guy might not actually be homeless but the point is he’s very unstable. He has one foot in your crib (or a friend or family member’s crib) and the other foot is out on the street. He’s the kind of guy who doesn’t know where he’s going to lay his head from night-to-night. You may have never really thought about it, but if you ever sat down alone and examined your relationship with this guy, you’ll quickly realize that this guy is a loser! That’s right girl, you’ve been involved with a loser the entire time!

Think about it: This guy is always broke. He’s likely unemployed. You’re paying for dinner, movies, drinks at the club, vacations, rent, mortgage, groceries; the whole nine yards! This guy wouldn’t get a haircut if it wasn’t for you giving him the cash to go the barbershop! He may have a rather rugged appearance and have bad hygiene and grooming issues.

The thing about a guy like this is that he will call himself “taking care” of things; paying bills, getting the car repaired-things like that, but you’re the one who is actually putting up the money!

This guy is very irresponsible and he's way too lazy with a total carefree attitude about life. He might be a lot of fun to be around but he’s incapable of getting serious about the important aspects of life. He’s been coddled his whole life. Everyone from family to complete strangers has gone out of their way to help this guy. Why? Because he’s a likable guy, very personable, great sense of humor, even “generous”. But his generosity is usually at the expense of someone else’s (probably you) pocket.

Homeboy might actually be homeless for real, with nowhere to go. Look, I have sympathy for homeless people, but I also know that the majority of them are homeless due to their own fuck-ups! That’s right, I said it! And this guy may be no different. Your man’s home might be in the back of some pissy alley which is why he’s always insisting to “stay-over” at your place. What was supposed to be a one-night thang has turned into him wearing out his welcome, lying around your place for the last 6 months!

Girl, kick his ass out now and drop him off at the local YMCA!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Homeless” and you think one day you might actually marrry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#32: Mr. “So fine that he makes me insecure”

2007-06-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

When you snagged this guy you just knew you had it going on, didn’t you? Couldn’t nobody tell you nothing! While all of the other women in your neighborhood, on your job or at your church were drooling all over this guy, your lucky ass is the one who actually got with his fine ass. All those other women are jealous of you! And because of this you always have to be on alert because other women are always (and I do mean always) looking to take him away from you!

Yeah, it’s the gift and the curse of being with a gorgeous guy. If he’s fine, I mean, really, really fine, and he’s actually successful, then the competition you’ll face will be unbearable. Girl, you will spend most of your time cussing bitches out and knocking bitches out! They will call your house, follow you and him on the road, look all in your bedroom window while he’s making your ass climb the walls…

As long as you're with a fine ass brotha like this guy your life will be HELL!

This guy may be your classic “pretty-boy” type or he could be your typical handsome tough-guy thug type. Regardless of his style, he’s well dressed and well groomed. The classic pretty boy sports tailored suits or the best in casual wear and the handsome thug wears the latest and greatest in urban/street gear. Either way this guy looks, dresses, walks talks and conducts himself better than every other dude in his “category”. He may be light-skinned, dark-skinned or somewhere in between. Height and weight is optional and based on personal preference, but when you talk about brothers who are really fine, the fact that they’re tall and in great shape adds to their overall sex appeal.

See, there just ain’t enough really fine brothas out here. And when you add on the fine brothas that are successful too, shit, the pickings are even slimmer! This fact makes perfectly normal, classy women get ghetto real quick! I don’t care where you’re from or where you currently stay, when a fine and successful man is in the area, he will bring out the talking-shit, knocking bitches out ghetto chick in all of us! This is the kind of guy that you ain’t giving up without a battle and your competition won’t give up trying to steal him from you without a war!

You might be a very attractive girl. Hell, your man is fine but you’re not chopped liver yourself! But he’s soooo fine that his looks overshadows yours! You might hate to admit it but this guy actually looks better than you! His good looks make you constantly insecure about yourself and about the relationship. You’re convinced that at any time he will leave you for another chick or an equally handsome guy! (I bet you didn’t see that bomb coming)

Let’s get real though: This guy is not just handsome, well-built (and often, well-hung), and successful guy looking for the right woman to marry, settle down with and raise a family. Oh, he knows he’s fine! He’s probably more in love with his own looks than you and other women are combined! He’s vain, the conceited type, a master manipulator when it comes to women and sex. He’s not your everyday, run-of-the mill playa. He’s at the level of a pro-athlete, Hollywood actor or entertainer! This kind of guy has groupies and at least when it comes to women, he lives like a star!

Girl, this guy is guaranteed to cheat on you. And because he’s so fine you might convince yourself that it’s no big deal, determined to stay with him regardless. But you’re making a mistake. His womanizing is so well known that women will no longer be envious of you for being with him, they will feel sorry for you. This guy is sleeping around, big-time, more than you’ll ever know. That could mean all sorts of problems beyond your wounded pride...things like babies, “rabies”, STDs, fleas, H-I...

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “So fine that he makes you insecure” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#33: Mr. “Nice guy but ugly as hell”

2007-06-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

Allow me to be pretty blunt about this guy....

He’s one ugly ass muthafucka!!

If looks is important to you (and it should be), than this guy is just not going to cut it. It really doesn’t matter how nice he is. It really doesn’t matter how well he treats you. Being with this guy is just not going to do much for your image. I mean, we all have pride, don’t we?

Maybe you’re a little insecure about your looks. Maybe you’re a little paranoid about your weight. But when you look in the mirror you don’t want to puke, do you? Well, that’s what you feel like doing whenever you look at this guy. He looks like a troll, or maybe a gremlin, or maybe he looks like Bigfoot! Speaking of big, there’s usually a specific facial and/or bodily feature(s) about this guy that makes him so repulsive. But, then again, this guy could be ugly (with a capital U) from head to toe!

Now I know that there are those who will say, “It’s not all about looks”. There are some who believe that true everlasting love transcends physical attraction. After all, as we age we all get a little harder to look at, right? Wrong! Speak for yourself!

Face it, this dude might be a really nice guy but he’s disgusting! And even though you hate to admit it, you can’t stand looking at this monster and neither can your family, friends or complete strangers.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Nice guy but ugly as hell” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#34: Mr. “Great guy but he’s awful in bed”

2007-06-04T23:06:00.000-07:00

He’s handsome. He’s athletic. He’s masculine. He’s well spoken. He’s successful. He’s respectful. He’s loved by your family. He treats you like the queen that you are. The fact is this guy is allll-most perfect. But there’s one problem, okay, maybe it’s a “little” problem, sort of speak; he’s terrible in bed!

Everyone on the outside looking in would think that you’re one lucky chick. Your female relatives, friends and colleagues will often be jealous of you because on the surface your relationship with this guy will come across as absolutely perfect. But “little” do they know just how boring your relationship is when you and he get behind closed doors in the bedroom. Pardon my French, but this guy simply can’t fuck! He has the passion but doesn’t have the right “tools” to make love either!

Why is this guy soooo bad in bed?

Here are just a couple of possible reasons:

He has a small penis and doesn’t know how to work it
He has a big penis...and doesn’t know how to work it
He has no stamina
He’s one of those one-minute brothas
He has a one-track mind when it comes to sex; “Get mine and careless if she gets hers”
Low sex-drive (only interested in having sex a couple of times per month)
He doesn’t go down...

Must I go on?

Bottom line: If you get seriously involved with this guy (and God forbid you actually marry him), he might make you “happy” but he won’t make you climb the walls like spiderwoman, that’s for sure!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Great guy but awful in bed” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#35: Mr. “Whoop your ass if you even look at him wrong”

2007-06-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

This kind of guy might be a touchy-touchy issue for some of the sistas out there but...

Who cares!

This guy must be put on this list because to be frank he’s the most DANGEROUS! Dude is crazy and I’m not talking about “boy, you so crazzzy!” like the popular phrase comedian Martin Lawrence made famous. This guy is crazy for real and that means BIG trouble for you. Describing this guy as “aggressive” wouldn't do him enough justice. He’s a thug simple as that and he will snap at any moment beating the shit out of you for just about any reason.

The littlest thing will set him off. There’s no justification for a man beating on a woman but you know damn well that if you did him wrong (like cheating on him with his best friend for example), he’s definitely going to put a beating on your ass! This guy will treat you like a punching bag. He’ll knock you out quick like Mike Tyson used to do boxers in the first round or he’ll beat you over and over again, hour after hour until the sun comes up.

There are many reasons why this guy is abusive. He is probably very insecure. He’s the jealous type that is always accusing you of cheating on him. He’s very possessive and tries to control every aspect of your life. He tries to keep you away from your family and friends. The guy is a nut job!

He won’t show his true self in the beginning of the relationship. He’s the classic Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type. In the beginning he’ll present himself to you (and those who care about you) as the perfect guy. But once you fall in love with him and he’s confident that he’s “got you”, brace yourself because he’ll start swinging so you better be a good-ass ducker!

This guy has a history of beating women he dated or was married to in the past. You might not know about his past or maybe you do and are just in denial. I don’t care what nobody says, once a woman-beater, always one. I don’t care how much prayer and counseling he’s gone through. This guy is always a ticking time bomb waiting to explode right onto your pretty face!

He may be a short guy with a napoleon complex or he could very well be a big and tall, well-built stud (or any other guy in between). He could be seen as a punk on the street. Hey, it doesn’t matter. You’re a woman and he feels that he has enough strength and power over you (physically and mentally) to break you down and keep you there for as long as he sees fit. Regardless of his size or his reputation on the street, this guy is a punk; a coward who gets off by beating your ass. Girl, if you stay with him he might end up killing your ass.

You might leave him numerous times but because he “loves you” and your stupid ass still “loves him” you always end up going back. Look, you better smarten up, get like Tina Tuner and start fighting back! And then you better haul ass out of the relationship...

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Whoop your ass if you even look at him wrong” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#36: Mr. “Just loves himself some white women”

2007-06-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

Oh yes...

This guy is well known among the sistas. Yeah, girl, there are plenty of brothas that fall in this category. This kind of guy loves white women so much that it’s at the point of obsession! There are many reasons why he just can’t get enough of the “snow bunnies”:

He thinks they’re “beautiful”
Unfortunately, there are brothas who believe that white women are better looking than black women. This guy is basically influenced by the general society’s ideal of beauty-typically a woman who is blonde and blue-eyed.

He loves their bodies.
Not saying that all white women’s bodies are the same, but the “ideal” white woman is slim (damn near anorexic) with a flat ass and big boobs. White women are generally not as thick and curvy as black women. We got hips, thighs, phat asses...

This guy longs to have that skinny, starving-herself-to-death white chick on the cover of a magazine in his bed (and if you’re involved with him, maybe in your bed!).

He believes that white women treat him better than sistas do.
I know you’ve heard this before. This guy is convinced that white women treat brothas like kings while sistas treat brothas like the dogs that many of them are...

He sees being involved with a white woman as giving him status.
Some how this fool thinks that just because he’s with a white woman that makes him “special”. Yeah...ok! He could be strolling hand-to-hand with actress Katie Holmes (or some other popular white actress) down the red carpet at the Oscars and in the eyes of society; he’ll still be just another nig...

White women have money to spend on him
Of course there are plenty of “trailer park” white women who are broke as a joke, but this kind of guy ain’t interested in them. He’s out to snag one of those suburban white girls who will do everything from paying for dinner at Taco Bell to buying him a freakin’ Benz!

I could go on and on...

You might be involved with this guy right now, but he's crazy about white women and he will eventually leave you for one guaranteed. So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Just loves himself some white women” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#37: Mr. “Hates his own race”

2007-06-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

Are you involved with a sell-out??

To put it blunt, this so-called “brotha” hates black people. He can’t stand us! He distances himself from all things black culture. He has no respect for anything that has to do with blackness. If you didn’t know that this guy was black, you would assume that he’s some racist redneck white boy! This guy has lived his entire life trying to be someone that he’s not, denying his heritage.

There are many reasons why he might be this way:

Maybe he grew up or currently lives in the suburbs around a lot of whites and few blacks.
He thinks he’s better than other blacks because of his “higher education”.
He thinks he’s better than other blacks because he has some “big shot” job.
Etc....

This kind of guy typically has had bad “experiences” with other blacks. Other blacks may ridicule him. Other blacks may intimidate him. The negative way he feels about his own race is often due to the influence that others have on him. People who hate their own race stick together. Now that doesn’t mean that because you’re involved with this guy that you must hate your own race. And that’s one of the reasons why you couldn’t possibly be with this guy for long. This guy’s constant ranting and raving filled with hatred about his own race will piss you off so bad that any chick that’s proud to be black will roll out.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Hates his own race” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#38: Mr. "Can’t stand kids”

2007-06-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Remember comedian Robin Harris’ famous comedy sketch about “BeBe’s kids”? Well this guy looks at all kids like they’re BeBe’s bad out-of-control kids! There are many guys like this who just don’t like kids, simple as that! But I’ll go as far as saying that there are grown-ass men who actually hate kids! This kind of guy is not family-oriented. You may never really have to seriously consider marrying him because he’s not interested in getting married. He enjoys being single too much.

This guy sees kids as a burden. In his mind, kids are a “curse”, an unfortunate necessary evil in dating and relationships. He knows that if he gets involved with a woman that it’s likely that he will have to deal with her kids, her nieces and nephews, the kids in the neighborhood, etc. Unless the woman is living in a community where they are no kids, he won’t be able to escape the sound of little feet and the sight of beady little eyes staring all in his face. Even if he’s young, he acts like a grouchy old man who no one really wants to be around especially kids. Kids know when their mere presence is not welcomed and he’s the kind of guy that puts fear in some kids and is the perfect guy to be fucked with by the more brave, mischievous kids.

He’s likely to have kids of his own that he neglects, making him the all too familiar deadbeat dad that sistas have dealt with for far too long. He’s the type that might not even claim his kids leaving you to believe that he doesn’t have any. And the bad thing about it is that this kind of guy who hates kids is usually the guy with the most kids! Damn, if he can’t stand them then why does he keep having them by woman after woman...?

He is the worst kind of guy to have children by because he will either be too much of a disciplinarian or not much involved in his children’s lives at all. In addition to hating kids he tends to be a male chauvinist, seeing his woman as his property. Women are obviously maternal, and we invest a lot physically and emotionally into our kids. This guy resents that. He’s often jealous of the kids and see them as competition for your complete devotion. In his eyes, he should come first in your life and the kids should be a distant second.

As I said earlier, he’s not family-oriented and he will often clash with your family especially your mama! Yeah, this guy hates your mama and she can’t stand his ass! Your mama loves her grandkids and it breaks her heart to see how he treats them and you. Him and her will often fuss and fight over how the kids should be raised. This guy is simply irresponsible when it comes to taking care of his family and has no desire to do right by them.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “He can’t stand kids” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#39: Mr. “Full-time student”

2007-06-04T23:00:00.002-07:00

So you’re dating a nerd, huh?

Well, there’s nothing wrong with that, right? Any woman would be proud to be with an intelligent, highly educated guy, right? Yeah, I guess so, but this guy takes higher education to another level! He’s been in school for years and years with no known graduation date! And if he does graduate, he goes back to get more education. He may repeat this cycle over and over again. He loves school; the homework, the term papers, the lectures, the social events; the overall atmosphere on a college campus.

Younger guys will often fall in this category because they’re going to school full-time and not working. But there are guys well into their 20’s, 30’s and even their 40’s who are in school “full-time” and working no where! That’s right, they’re spending soooo much time studying and going to frat parties that there’s just no time to actually make money! Now I don’t know about you but I thought the whole purpose of getting an education was to have a career and succeed in society. This guy is getting one hell of an education, no doubt about that, but he has yet to have a career and he’s far from successful!

This dude is still “trying to find himself”. He lacks any real direction in his life. He’s completely indecisive about what he wants to do with his life. He’s a studious guy, obsessed with education and the truth is he’s intimidated by adulthood, scared to face the real world. He will never admit this and will convince you and others that he’s on the “fast track”, that all of the education he is obtaining is all apart of his “master plan”. Yeah; ok, whatever...

This guy believes that he’s “too smart” and “too talented” to hold down a job while he pursues his studies. He won’t even entertain the thought of getting a part-time or temp job. If he does an internship it’s likely to be one that is a great “opportunity” but doesn’t pay!

This kind of guy is basically a smart but irresponsible person, unwilling to make sacrifices and clueless about what he wants do with his life. He might be the boring home-body type that is always studying or debating or he could be a party animal. He’s tends to be more career-minded than family oriented and could have possibly grown up privileged. It’s likely that he has absolutely nothing to show for all of the education he has received and is continuing to receive except for meaningless degrees, a high grade point average and enormous debt due to school loans!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Full-time student” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#40: Mr. “Forty, a blunt and a crack pipe”

2007-06-04T23:00:00.001-07:00

This guy is always drunk, high or both! If he’s an alcoholic, he’s always drinking; morning, noon and night. If he has a job he won’t for long because he’ll often come to work intoxicated or drink while he’s on the job. If he’s a drug addict then he’ll be high most of the time and when he’s not high, he’s “on a mission” to get high. This kind of guy is always looking for his next fix.

He’s lazy as hell when it comes to what’s really important in life. But when he wants to get high or drunk he has a serious work ethic! He’s as serious about drinking and doing drugs the way parents (the good ones) are serious about raising their children. He has no ambition in life and seems content with wasting it all away. He lives a reckless lifestyle that may border on wild and dangerous. This kind of guy is often “street smart” and spends a lot of time running the streets with other losers passing around a forty ounce of malt liquor or a blunt of weed in an alley or smoking crack in an abandoned row house.

Beer, liquor, weed, heroin, opium, meth, crack cocaine...

You name it, this guy has tried it or addicted to it right now!

When he’s sober and not high, he’s likely to be a decent guy. But as I said before, this guy lives a reckless lifestyle and he’s totally unpredictable. He can’t hold a job and is always broke. He spends money fast. If he has a job and gets paid on Friday, he’ll be dead broke without a penny to his name before midnight Saturday morning. Because he’s always broke and always desperate to get drunk and high he can’t be trusted. He’s likely to be a thief and will steal from you in a heartbeat. He’s always scheming, thinking of ways to get money so that he can keep getting high and drunk.

He’ll take money, jewelry, televisions, furniture, anything of value that you own to pawn or give to the dope man for drugs. If he’s an alcoholic he may have DUIs on his driving record and you’ll never know when he’ll end up in jail for drunk driving or end up dead!

He’s likely to be in poor health due to his drinking and drug abuse. He may have been on the brink of death many times. This guy needs help but when people try to help him he finds a way to fuck up and betray them, burning his bridges. He’s on his way of reaching drop bottom if he isn’t already there. He’s lived a hard life and at this point has basically given up. Because of his lifestyle and his mental state I can guarantee you that he will end up dead or in jail or just a pathetic loser that should be dead.

By the way, this kind of guy is often abusive and I don’t play that shit! I don’t care how “sick” he is, or how much “help” he needs, ain’t no excuse for a man putting his hands on woman! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Forty, a blunt and a crack pipe” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#41: Mr. “Corny ass comedian”

2007-06-04T22:58:00.002-07:00

This clown will always keep you laughing...

But just because you’re laughing, it doesn’t mean you’re laughing with him! Like everybody else that comes into contact with this guy, you’ll be laughing at him!

First of all, he’s not nearly as funny as he thinks he is. He’s more silly...goofy; then he is funny. Let’s face it: This guy is corny! He’s a straight up clown that literally belongs in the circus. And I can guarantee that his life is a circus. He’s loud and obnoxious and spends much of his time telling outrageous stories about his past right up until what just happened to him today. Yeah, he’s one hell of a story teller which is just another way of saying that he is a liar!

He tries too hard (way too hard) to make everyone laugh. He wants to be seen as this popular out-going guy that everyone loves. And he might be out going, he might be popular but his popularity is based on the fact that everyone he’s ever come in contact with thinks he’s a clown. He’s a phony that at the snap of the finger goes into character. He’s always “on stage” and that stage is his life in which he always has to perform.

His “performances” often go overboard and he ends up saying or doing something that offends somebody. He’s the kind of guy that will piss others off to the point where they will want to kick his ass! He’s a grown ass man that is just too immature and playful and never knows when to be serious. See, being serious would mean acting like a responsible adult and this guy is not about to start doing that. Expect him to be unemployed or “marginally” employed and totally content with that sad, underachieving existence. This guy doesn’t want to work “too hard” because he’s too busy “having fun”.

He tries so hard to be “Mr. Kat Williams” (or insert your favorite comedian) because it’s likely that he lacks success in other areas of his life. Maybe he’s ugly (a lot of real comedians are). Maybe he’s fat, sloppy and out of shape (a lot of real comedians are). Maybe he’s not too bright. Maybe he’s horrible in bed. He tries to use his humor to make up for all of the bad qualities in him that turn women off.

By the way, this fool might actually have aspirations of being a stand-up comedian and actor!! Now that’s funny!!

The bottom line is that he’s just not all that funny. And his 24/7 “stand-up act” that is his life may amuse you at first but will quickly end up looking sad, tired, annoying and pathetic! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Comedian” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#42: Mr. “Boring as hell”

2007-06-04T22:58:00.001-07:00

Great guy and all but DAMN; he sure is boring!! This kind of guy is a classic home-body. He doesn’t go anywhere! He’s always in the house watching television, playing video games, eating or sleeping. This kind of guy spends more time in the bathroom than he does out on the town!

And it’s not just about what he does (or should I day what he doesn’t do), he’s also boring as hell to talk to. His conversation consist of “yes”, “no” and flat one sentence replies. He might be a smart guy but he has very poor social skills. When others talk to this guy he comes across as weird. He has no sense of a humor and is way too serious. He always seems uptight and never relaxed. He’s a loner who is more comfortable spending time with something like a pet or a reading a comic book or something.

He’s the type of guy that if he doesn’t come to a party he isn’t missed and if he’s actually present at a party he isn’t noticed. He shows little if any emotion. He tends to be a bad dresser. He’ll either have a reputation as being a quiet, strange loner or he’ll be virtually unknown altogether. He may not drink or do any illicit drugs. From a health perspective that’s a good thing but this guy is so “dead” that you wish he would occasionally take a drink or smoke a little weed just to bring some life to his dull personality!

Although boring guys comes in all shapes and sizes; in all colors and ages, this guy will become more and more boring as he gets older. The funny thing is he may have actually been fun to be around back in the day. But as guys get older they get slooower and become more uninterested in actually doing stuff and having a good time.

If he’s a younger guy, he’s quiet and insecure and probably feels that the more he talks and the more active he is, the more he’ll make a fool of himself! He grew up overshadowed by others like maybe a brother, best friend or even a parent. He was never smart enough, handsome enough, tough enough, or cool enough or all of the above. With all of the qualities about him that is a turn off, one thing about boring guys is that they’re often successful. This guy may be well-educated with a good career. But his success is a gift and a curse because he’s so much into his career that his social and family life and your relationship with him suffer.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Boring as hell” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don't do it!!

Guy#43: Mr. “Booty Call”

2007-06-04T22:57:00.000-07:00

This guy thinks he slick!!

He ain’t fooling me!

Don’t let him fool you!

When a chick gets involved in any relationship she knows what it is from the very beginning. The question is; will she be in denial or will she deal with the reality? When it comes to this guy, let’s put it all on the table. This guy is only out for sex! That’s it! Nothing more and nothing less. We know that but some of us try to fool ourselves and others that there’s more to the “relationship”. There is no relationship! You met this guy (how the hell ever you met him), you started having sex with him and you haven’t stopped!

He never takes you out. You’ve never been to dinner; never seen a movie (unless it’s on DVD). You haven’t had much public contact with this guy other than when you first met. He may have taken you out once or twice but that’s been a long, long time ago. Now he just calls you late at night hoping you will agree to let him come over to your place or even having the nerve to try to persuade you to get out of your bed so you can come and get in his!

This guy’s bold and pretty straight-forward about his intentions. All he wants his sex and the later it is; the better. But let’s be fair: You are a willing participant in these sex sessions and in fact you may have been the one to initiate it preferring that your relationship with this guy is limited to these late night “arrangements”.

See, sistas ain’t stupid. We know what the hell a booty call is. And some of us prefer booty call relationships with men over long-lasting, devoted, meaningful and loving relationships. Some of us have pretty much given up on finding a real, good man and have just settled for “late night dicks” whenever we get horny. This kind of guy doesn’t mind “being used” as a prop so that you can get off! Sex will no strings attached is what he’s all about! Often, it’s the only thing that he’s about because sex is probably the only thing he’s good at!

This is the kind of guy that you may have initially considered having a relationship with but once you realized that he is a total idiot you decided to just fuck him whenever you get uncontrollably horny instead! He might not even be that good in the bed but you figure having late night access to a real dick is better than fucking a dildo! There’s not much to say about this guy. You might simply not know him very well. He may be a mysterious figure that you rarely see and rarely carry on a conversation with beyond telling him, “Yeah, I’m up. You can’t come over.”

I really feel sorry for the sistas who’ve been the booty calls of this kind of guy and actually believe that they’re in a relationship. If you’re one of these sistas, let me tell you straight with no chaser...

This guy is taking advantage of you. He doesn’t really respect you and may not even be attractive to you. All he wants is a nut and he knows that you’re going to give it to him. He will keep going to you for his booty calls as long as you keep answering your phone late at night and giving him the green light to come over. Weeks, months, even years will go by and he’ll keep on hitting that as long as you’re ready, willing and able. And even if you seem to be cool with the booty call status of your relationship, this guy is guaranteed to wear out his welcome. Oh yes, he will become a nuisance. You might not be able to get rid of his ass! If he’s good in bed, I mean, really good, you might not even give a damn. But if I were you I would do like guys do...

Keep your booty calls on “rotate”! Don’t let the same guy hit that over and over again because then it might actually become a relationship! The fool will think your pussy belongs to him.

This guy might be your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. Maybe he’s a friend of your brother’s or a neighbor. But whoever he is, if the extent of your relationship with him are late night booty calls then it’s safe to say that this guy is not someone you really want to be calling your man! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Booty Call”, you actually go around telling people that he’s your man and you think one day you might actually marry this guy (oh, say it ain’t so)....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#44: Mr. “Black Panther”

2007-06-04T22:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, this guy here is quite a character! He’s likely to be aggressive though some guys that fall into this category are quiet as a mouse in public but loud as a lion in private. He’s an angry and bitter person with nothing but hatred in his heart for white people or other ethnic groups who he believes are anti-black. He’s definitely pro-black, but his love for his blackness goes far beyond pride. If blacks can be racist (I’m still not sure about that “blacks can’t be racists thing”) then he’ll definitely be the poster child!

This kind of guy will tie every single issue in life to race. If he fails at anything in life it’s the “white man’s” fault. If he cheats on you, it’s the white man’s fault. If he cusses your ass out, it’s the white man’s fault. If he can’t hold a job and is broke as a joke, guess what...

It’s the white man’s fault!!!!

This militant brotha is obsessed with white people. He has nothing but hostility and animosity toward them. There are plenty of older brothas who fit the profile of this type of guy. But there are also many young guys that may have never personally hbeen direct victims of racism, yet they still have nothing but total hostility toward whites. Their hostility is often “passed down” to them from their family members just like racist attitudes and hatred toward blacks is passed down to white males (and females) from their family.

Homie spends much of his time reading “black power”; white man conspiracy themed books and debating with others about black power and white oppression. The people he associates with share his views; intimidating figures who scare the shit of you! In addition to be indoctrinated with a black militant mentality from family, it’s also likely that he developed much of his hatred toward whites out in the streets and in prison. He might justify his beliefs by history (and the present) and spew his prejudiced rhetoric under the cloak of religion or a cult.

He participates or even organizes pro-black “events” and protests. He may be involved in programs that benefit the inner city. He’s a community activist or at least he sees himself as one. That’s a good thing. We should applaud people who do positive things in the community. This guy has good intentions but...the road to hell is paved with good intentions!

The reality is that he might be all talk and no action. He might talk tough but is really a punk. But make no mistake about it, plenty guys who fit this profile are tough. They’re intimidating and confrontational. They’re discipline brothas that live strict and structured lifestyles, not smoking and drinking, etc. (though some may be total frauds) and if you’re involved with this kind of guy I can almost guarantee that he will try to hold you to his ridiculous standards of what he feels a woman should be.

You may feel that this guy is downright embarrassing. As I said before, guys who fit this profile are often intimidating and confrontational and let’s say that it can be a bit “challenging” to be with them in public or at social gatherings among colleagues, family or friends. He’s liable to get into an altercation with a white person, maybe a black person or frankly anybody over just about anything! He’s always defensive and always on edge and being with this guy will end up being way too stressful!

A guy like this might be well-read and well-spoken but often uneducated and unskilled who spend much more time working in “the movement” than he does actually holding down a real job! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Black Panther” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

This fool will have your ass in trouble with the feds!

Guy#45: Mr. “BET, MTV, ESPN and X-Box”

2007-06-04T22:55:00.002-07:00

I tell you, it’s so, so, sad...

There are just far too many brothas, so-called grown ass men who spent the majority of their time, wasting time, watching BET, MTV, ESPN and playing X-Box all day and all night long! What the hell is going on??

This kind of guy is as common as sistas who walk around trying to fool everybody that their long flowing hair ain’t a weave! Homie is just like your son or your little brotha! He sits around all day watching music videos, corny-ass reality shows, sports highlights and playing video games! He should be the spokesman for cable television. He loves to sit on the couch or in his favorite chair flipping through the channels. His favorite tool is not his dick (like Mr. Playa, Playa) but the TV remote control (and the joystick to his video game system).

The guy is childish. He’s immature, has never grown up and never wants to grow up because he’s having way too much fun! It doesn’t seem to concern him one bit that he’s always broke (much of his small income going toward video games, etc.), can’t keep a job (or has a dead-end job) and basically has no future. He’s not focus on what he’s going to do with the rest of his life but he is focused on 50 Cent’s newest video, who won the basketball game last night or beating his loser friends at Madden football video game!

Don’t even get me started on his friends! They are all just like this fool! Every last one of them! Idiots stick together and this guy is always with his friends, rotating between their girls’ cribs and your place watching cable and playing video games!

Guys that fit this profile tend to not to be outgoing because they spend so much time in the house watching television and playing video games. They avoid responsibility and can quickly become downright lazy. You can guarantee that he will neglect the relationship, hardly ever carrying on an adult conversation or spending quality time with you.

He identifies more with other grown-up losers and teenagers than he does with responsible adults. He’s the kind of guy who is just too caught up in what I call a “pop culture perspective”. He finds the world of television, movies, music and video games exciting and looks at the real world as much too serious. Yeah, he doesn’t have time to get caught up in boring and stressful aspects of life like paying bills, raising kids, etc.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “BET, MTV, ESPN and X-Box” (you’re dating a kid not a man) and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#46: Mr. “Bad Luck”

2007-06-04T22:55:00.001-07:00

Here’s another good guy...

With BIG problems!!

Or I guess I should say he’s someone with bad luck. That’s bad with a capital B. It seems like this guy is the unluckiest person in the world. Well, at least the unluckiest person that you know.

His life is a crying shame. That’s right; you really want to cry when you think about all the things that he has gone through. From the day you met him, his life (and yours) have been an emotional rollercoaster. He’s experienced more bad times than good times in his life. His past sounds like something that you read in a book or saw in a movie. If he was to ever “make it through” the constant struggles that is his life, become successful and find happiness than the story of his life would be a New York Times bestseller guaranteed!

Expect this guy to be very depressed even to the point of suicidal. He may have buried people close to him; friends, parents, etc. when he was young. Maybe he grew up in severe poverty. Maybe he suffered (or still suffers) from a serious illness. Maybe he loses his job, gets evicted and ends up homeless for the third time! His past may have included time in prison. He’s likely to be jobless or working at some dead-end job.

The tragic thing about a guy like this is that he’s probably quite talented. He possesses a special, unique talent. He’s someone with a lot of potential to do great things but it’s just not his destiny to succeed.

This poor guy has been through a lot emotionally and physically and his past experiences has made him an angry, bitter, confused, lonely, withdrawn, or depressed person (or all of the above and then some). His past experiences may have had so much of a negative affect on him that he makes poor decisions in life. He’s reckless and pretty much doesn’t care what happens to him. He’s a good guy that just can’t catch a break. Some of the things that happen to this guy are even a little comical.

Maybe he gets robbed on a regular basis!

Maybe he’s been struck by lightning twice!

I know it’s not funny but the point I’m making is that this guy is just bad luck in a pair of sneakers and jeans! And if you’re involved with this guy his bad luck will rub off on you. If you really love this guy, what he goes through, you go through. What he feels, you feel. If he’s depressed he makes you depressed. When he talks about jumping off a high rise building and killing himself your stupid ass thinks about joining his suicidal ass out on the ledge! And no matter how much you support this guy and how hard you try to motivate him, his life is still going to be fucked up!

Being with this guy will ultimately ruin your life. You’ll give up on your own hopes and dreams. And don’t think that there aren’t many guys that fit this profile! There are plenty of brothas who no matter how good they are and how hard they try; they just can’t catch a break! To be frank, their lives are cursed! But why should you go and fuck up your life over some guy who just can’t get his life together. If you really want to see him do well then just get on your knees (no, not to do that) and pray for him! But...

If you’re involved with Mr. “Bad Luck” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#47: Mr. “Baby mama drama”

2007-06-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

Girl, this guy is going to put your ass through some shit!

You can tell by his nickname that he has kids. You could have baby mama drama times 2, 3 or 4! It’s sounds crazy but yal know I ain’t lying.

This kind of guy is always on edge. He’s always stressed out over the never-ending war that he has going on with his baby mama (or baby mamas). He’s at war with her, her family (especially her mama), her new man, the courts and the police! It’s no wonder that he’s always pissed off! Basically he got involved with this woman, they had children and his life has been a living hell ever since! You might be his little piece of heaven but because of his drama he’ll make your life a living hell.

Dude is always broke because the majority of his income goes toward child support. Maybe he pays child support to the state. Or maybe he and his baby mama have some sort of an “agreement” in which he gives her a certain amount of money every week, etc. Regardless of the arrangement he is guaranteed to have conflict with his baby mama over money and the time spent with his kids. He may be the kind of guy that gives 100% effort in raising his kids. But his sincere efforts will never be enough for his baby mama. She will always be critical of him, verbally insulting him, or even getting physical with him!

That’s right, your man might get into physical altercations with his baby mama and she might be the one kicking his ass!

Let’s be honest: This guy could be a dead-beat dad. The type who completely neglects his kids, hardly ever spending time with them and not supporting them financially. There are guys that fit this profile who will actually refuse to work so that they don’t have to worry about the state garnishing their small paychecks for child support! His baby mama may have just reasons for hating his ass and causing him so much grief!

Whether he takes care of his kids or he neglects them, his life revolves around them and the drama between him and his kids’ mama. This will mean that your relationship with him will suffer. He won’t be able to spend quality time with you because he’ll be dealing with “family” issues. And he may not feel comfortable talking to you about his baby mama drama. Most of the time you won’t know what the hell is going on and you’ll feel like an outsider. Then again, maybe you’ll know too much, which will make you even more stressed-out.

Now let’s talk a little about his baby mama...

The bitch is crazy!

I don’t like to call women out their name, but this lady is nuts! We all can get bitchy sometimes but her bitchy-ness is permanent. First of all, she’s jealous of you. And it may not even be about you. She’s just jealous, period, because her baby daddy has moved on and has a new relationship. She would hate you no matter who you were. But that doesn’t make you feel any better because this chick is liable to take some of her rage against him out on you. No matter how cool and civil you try to be, expect her to talk shit. It’ll start out being in-direct, but once “you’ve been around for a while”, she’ll start talking shit to you over the telephone, by email, by letter, by fax and eventually straight to your face. And though you may have kept your cool many times before, eventually you’re going to get tired of her shit and start fighting back.

Speaking of fighting, don’t be surprised if you and this crazy bitch come to blows!

Because you’re in a relationship with this guy, his drama will become your drama. You’ll be right by his side as he battles with his baby mama. Her family and friends will hate you. And as for his family and friends, they may actually side with his baby mama! As I said earlier, you’re an outsider, and when you’re dealing with a guy like this you won’t be the biggest influence on him. Others, from his mama to his best friend, will be in his ear trying to tell him what to do about his baby mama drama situation. Everyone around him may be suspicious of you and encourage him to break up with you or at least show indifference to you and the relationship.

With all of the drama going in, this guy might actually blame you for his baby mama drama and the problems happening in you and his relationship. After he goes through his baby mama drama with that crazy bitch he’s likely to come home and start drama with you. Expect many nights of fighting and fussing. Expect to have sex less and less. You will start to look at this guy differently. In the beginning you may have had respect for him and once you saw firsthand how much drama his kids’ mama puts his through, you started feeling sorry for him. But now that his baby mama drama has poisoned your relationship with him, you see him as a weak, pathetic loser!

And don’t even get me started on his kids! Maybe they can’t stand your ass! Or maybe they get on your nerves so much that you wish you could drop their little bad asses off on the side of the road somewhere! Still, you might really love this guy and seriously consider having kids of your own by him.

Girl, please!!!

There’s no reason why you should have to deal with all the shit that he, his kids, his baby mama, her family and friends, and his family and friends are guaranteed to put you through if you stay with this fool. So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Baby mama drama” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#48: Mr. “Baby Daddy”

2007-06-04T22:53:00.000-07:00

If you’re involved with this guy then your situation is the opposite from a chick who is involved with Mr. “Baby Mama Drama”. You’re the one, not your man, dealing with all of the drama!!

You basically had children by a loser. You love your kids but their father is an asshole! And because of your kids that asshole will be attached to you forever! It won’t matter how old they get or how far away you move from your baby daddy. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since you were involved with him. You won’t be able to escape this guy’s foolishness. Unless he changes or vanishes off of the face of the earth, you will have to deal for the rest of your life.

You’ll try hard to move on with your life. You’ll meet a new man. He might be wonderful. He might the perfect man for you a far cry from Mr. “Baby Daddy” and all of the other clowns on this list. You could be the happiest that you’ve ever been in your life but you’ll always have one big problem…

Mr. “Baby Daddy”!!

This kind of guy is a trouble maker. He’s full of jealousy. He’s jealous of the fact that you’re happy in your life without him. He’s jealous of your new man. Your new man is more handsome, in better shape, more educated, actually has a career, and treats you much better...

The new guy in your life is a real man!

Every insulting word you could think of could be used to describe Mr. “Baby Daddy”. But the best word to describe most guys that fit this profile is “deadbeat”. He doesn’t take care of his kids and have left you to pretty much raise them by yourself. Much of the drama that you go through with him is over the kids. There are guys that fit this profile who may be involved in their kids’ lives. Regardless of which kind this guy is, he’ll be very protective of his kids when it comes to your new man. Even though he’s certainly not the best father that he can be, if your new man becomes a positive father-figure in your kids’ lives he’ll be jealous of your new man’s relationship with them.

Your new man might be intimidated by this guy though it could be the other way around. Both men could be from different sides of the track. Maybe Mr. “Baby Daddy” resents your new man because he’s from “a good neighborhood”, went to college and has a successful career while your baby daddy is an unemployed high school dropout from the ‘hood. Expect arguments and physical altercations to go down between this guy and your new man. Expect your “baby daddy drama” to poison your relationship with your new man.

I haven’t even talked about the drama you’ll liable to go through with your baby daddy’s family, his friends, his new girl and her friends! Your never ending drama will scare a lot of good men away. You’ll meet men that truly love you but just can’t deal with your kids or your baby daddy drama. So, if you were involved with Mr. “Baby Daddy” and you hope one day you might actually get married....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Mr. "Baby Daddy" will make your marriage to your new man a fucking nightmare!

Guy#49: Mr. “Always quitting or getting fired”

2007-06-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

If you opened the dictionary and looked up the word “irresponsible”, you will see this guy’s picture! Most of the time he’s “between” jobs and when he’s not he’s about to get fired or end up quitting the job he has. There are many reasons why he keeps getting fired or quitting his job. For one thing, he’s uneducated and unskilled. That means he has limited opportunities to really make some money and get ahead in life. The job he holds are low-paying, lacks benefits, has few advancement opportunities and puts him in bad working conditions. He gets the kind of jobs that are so demeaning that he should quit or be glad to get fired....

Even though this is his sad reality, this kind of guy still has no motivation. Instead of getting more education and training, he continues to go from job to job with no purpose in his life. While others he grew up with are doing bigger and better things in their lives, this dude goes from one dead-end job to another. If you were to take a look at this guy’s resume you would either laugh or cry at how pathetic it is! He’s the kind of guy that for example, would have held 10 jobs in 5 years! Now that might be cool if these were professional, high-paying positions; in other words if he was climbing the corporate ladder. The reason why he has had so many jobs is not because of “opportunities” but because of his “failures”.

He gets fired or quits because maybe he has a temper. Maybe he has no discipline. Maybe he has a lack of respect for authority. Maybe he’s a big complainer and always makes excuses. Maybe he has a poor work ethic and is just plain ol’ lazy. It’s likely that the causes for him being fired or quitting is all of the above. This guy is simply not focused and serious about life. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life!

Now this doesn’t mean that he’s not ambitious. He may talk a hole in your head about all of the things that he wants to do, plan to do and will do to achieve success in life. One of the reasons why he quits a job or doesn’t seem to care about getting fired from one is because he firmly believes that there’s a much better job opportunity around the corner! Homie may actually believe that he’s going to be a doctor, lawyer or businessman even though there’s nothing in his background from education, skill to common sense that would indicate that he’s going to do anything but be a complete loser! He’s caught up with false ambition and the bottom line is that he’s a big talker but a small do-er.

This guy is obviously unstable and if you’re in a relationship with him you’ll end up taking care of his ass! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Always quitting or getting fired” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#50: Mr. “2 or 3 jobs and still broke”

2007-06-04T22:50:00.000-07:00

Right off the bat I can tell you that this guy is financially irresponsible. If he has 2 or more jobs that fact alone may seem promising. You may assume that he must be a responsible, hardworking guy. But he has 2 or 3 jobs for a reason or reasons and it’s likely to be because his finances are fucked up!

First of all, this guy works too damn hard! He’s always at work. He works days. He works nights. He works weekends. He works on holidays. And when he’s not working he’s at home sleeping or too damn tired to do anything! The relationship suffers because of his constant working.

He doesn’t spend any quality time with you. You all never go out to dinner. You haven’t been to the movies or out to a night club in years. He works; works, works and rarely takes time off therefore you all haven’t been on vacation in years. He shows very little affection and you can’t even remember when the last time yal had sex and when yal do have sex it’s lasts 3 minutes and it’s horrible!

If you have kids by this guy he’s not a very good father because he’s never home leaving you to be the one raising them. This guy may be handsome but he doesn’t take care of his appearance. He probably drives an old, run-down car. He lives in a dump (hopefully you don’t live with him). He’s not into materialistic things. He’s the type that has income coming in but you’ll never be able to tell by how he looks and the lifestyle that he lives.

Yeah, this kind of guy has a lot of baggage which is why he feels the need to have 2 or 3 jobs. The 2 or 3 jobs that he has are both dead-end status. Neither pays very well. But he’s not qualified to get one “good” job because he’s uneducated and unskilled. On his jobs he’s taken advantaged of by his supervisors and ridiculed by his co-workers. He’s completely devoted to his jobs even though the pay, benefits and work conditions all suck!

He may have kids from a previous relationship in which case he’s paying child support. He may be divorced paying alimony to his ex-wife. If so, this means that he has even less money coming in to support you and the relationship. Oh yeah, homie has bad credit. Creditors are constantly calling and calling. It’s likely that he’s gone through evictions, repossessions, foreclosures, court judgments, bankruptcies and other financial hardships.

The funny thing is (or should I say, the pathetic thing is...) considering how much this guy works he’s still always broke! It doesn’t matter how many hours he puts in, how much overtime he does, how many bonuses he gets, he’s still broke!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “2 or 3 jobs and still broke” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!