Guy #1: Mr. “Ex-husband”

*This kind of guy could also be your ex-boyfriend who you fortunately didn't marry!

If you’ve ever been in a relationship or marriage that ended up being a total nightmare then you know this kind of guy real well. Any chick with common sense wouldn’t get involved with a guy that has the same bad qualities of past boyfriends or husbands! But unfortunately, that’s what far too many sistas do. The guy you’re involved with now reminds you of the fool that you left and yet you still get yourself deeper and deeper in shit all over again!

You left your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend because:

He cheated
He’s broke
He’s abusive
He’s just a complete idiot!
Etc…..

This guy totally ruined your life or at least he tried to. He hurt you bad and put a permanent stain on your pride and self-esteem. This type of guy has made you bitter and now you feel pure hatred toward all men. That’s right, now every guy you meet, you treat like the police treats a black male suspect in the murder investigation of a white soccer mom from the suburbs!

Speaking of murder, if you ever see this guy again you’re liable to kill him! You know it, he knows it and everybody else knows it too! We all know the saying that there’s no fury like a woman scorned. Well this dude can change the way you see the world. Friends you went to high school with and relatives who’ve been around you since you were a baby don’t even recognize you anymore. You don’t talk the same, walk the same, or dress the same all because of this guy. He really put a number on you!

It’s possible that you will change your whole lifestyle because of this asshole….

This is the kind of guy that drives sistas to lesbianism!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Ex-husband” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#2: Mr. “Young, dumb and full of cum”

If you’re seeing this guy and you’re convinced that you can “mold” him into the perfect man, think again!

Obviously you can tell by this guy's nickname that he’s young. He may be very young, I’m talking 16, 17, 18 young (yeah, some women try to snag ‘em straight off the school bus)! But if you’re a middle-aged woman in your late 30’s or 40’s then you will probably consider a 25 year old guy to be young.

His youth is what attracted you to this guy. He’s likely to be handsome, in great shape, tough, funny…just plain ol’ cool. He may be smart in a “cute” naive kind of way. He’s outgoing and can go all night long, dancing in the night clubs, and screwing in the bedroom! Being with him makes your old (or getting old) ass feel young. You think you’re some vibrant fly chick in your late teens or early 20’s again. But you’re not. And in the beginning his youth will be a turn on but will ultimately become a turn-off. Sooner than later, I guarantee it!

This kind of guy is likely to be immature. He can’t help it; immaturity comes with being young. But girls already mature faster than boys and if you’re significantly older than him then chances are you will be 5-10 times above his level! So don’t give me that “he’s very mature for his age” bullshit. He might not be as “dumb” as his friends and most of the young brothas out here but he’s still dumb as a rock!

And speaking of his friends, expect them to always be around. Young guys love to “hang-out” with each other and his “crew”, “posse”, “gang”, “squad” or whatever they call a group of friends nowadays will always be with him. Young guys are insecure and he’s no different. They hang in groups, all of the time, because individually they’re all weak but as a group they at least appear to be thorough. But you know better…

You do know better, right?

He’s “wild style” for real, and his lifestyle is likely to be just way too fast for you. He may sleep all day and party all night and count on him neglecting the relationship. He’s horny (all the time) and no matter how hard you work to please him while he pleases you he’s guaranteed to look for sex elsewhere. Expect him to cheat on you regularly with younger women closer to his age. But also realize that other older women (especially your female relatives and girlfriends) will basically throw themselves at this guy! Is he young and fine and he has a nice body! Shit!! Girl, it ain’t no fun if your “homies” can’t have none! Broads will be fighting to get a piece of his young and tender ass!

But let’s be honest about the sex: Though I don’t doubt he's a hell of a “warrior” in bed keep in mind that he’s young and therefore inexperienced. This kind of guy is likely to have the “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” mentality. He may give you the best 5 minutes of your life but he’ll be out the front door, sleep or playing video games once you recover longing for more!

Now that I mentioned playing video games, this kind of guy hasn’t grown up so it shouldn't be much of a surprise that he engages (for hours at a time) in mindless juvenile activities. When he’s not running the streets and actually at home, expect him to watch a lot of television, play video games, surf the Internet, talk on the phone, etc.

Some guys that fit this profile have few goals and don’t think too much about the future. They feel that they’re invincible and that nothing bad will ever happen to them. They’re uneducated, unskilled, and stubborn and think they know everything. There are guys that fit this profile who are smart and quite ambitious, but it’s often “blind” ambition. They have goals but are naïve about how to go about accomplishing their goals. This guy is broke and not yet established and because of this he tends to be impatient. He’ll make a lot of mistakes (probably some costly ones) as he goes through the growing pains of young adulthood. Girl, you don’t have time to wait for his ass to grow up!

By the way, instead of being a playa, playa, he might be too damn attached to you. Your relationship might take on a weird mother-son kind of vibe and that ain’t what you signed up for when you first met him!

He’s unsure of himself though he’ll act supremely confident. His false confidence will often cross the line of arrogance. He’s too smart for his own good. He thinks his ass is so slick and he’s likely to take you for granted. He’s selfish and though he may have some feelings for you, he has a “me-first” attitude when it comes to his life and if you’re not careful he’ll take advantage of your genuine love and concerned for him.

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Young, dumb and full of cum” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #3: Mr. “Why is he coughing so much…”

This guy brings about a touchy-touchy subject but sistas we have to face the sad, sad reality…

There are brothas out here who you shouldn’t be touching with a ten-foot pole! Don’t get near this guy. He’s dangerous! He might not stab you or put a bullet in your head but having sex with this guy is a death wish! And don’t give me that “I make him use condoms” bullshit. It takes just one time for you to slip up and forget to tell him to put on the condom or you let him persuade you that it’s all good, and it’s all over, you can call it a wrap because your life has just been shortened by 20 years!

And I wouldn’t sleep with this kind of guy even if he agreed to use condoms! I don’t feel comfortable with latex or any other kind of "tex" being the only thing separating me from a trip to the clinic!

Girl, I’m not even playing, this guy is sick in the head and sick in the body. He’s walking dead and he might not know it or he could be fully aware of it and just not telling you what’s up. You better use all of your five senses when dealing with this guy:

Sight:
They say you can’t tell if someone is sick by just looking at them. The hell you can’t! If you got eyes like microscopes you can! Stay alert, watching this guy like a hawk.

Hearing:
You better keep your ears open, hearing every little thing that he or anyone else says about him. Words no matter how insignificant they seem give you clues on what’s really going on.

Smell:
I don’t know about you but when something just ain’t right, I can sniff it out!

Touch:
You need to do some serious physical examination on this guy. Look and feel for anything weird or abnormal on this guy’s body. Don’t forget to put on strong latex gloves!

Taste:
When you’re sucking his dick, licking his balls, asshole, whatever…let me stop, I’m just fucking with you on this one…

Now, I know the whole five senses thing is me being a bit silly but the point is this guy should be avoided at all cost! He could be diagnosed with a STD, cancer, HIV/AIDS, or any kind of infection, syndrome, disease, virus, injury, disability, etc. He may show symptoms or he may not.

Just be honest: Whatever it is he’s got, this guy is sick. He’s always going to the doctor and missing work. His friends and family always look sad, always overly concerned about him and may treat him like he’s already dead! You hear rumors about him from those in the community. When you met him he “looked” healthy and now he “looks” sick, losing weight, taking medication, always depressed….

Of course if he’s gotten to that point it’s probably too late!

Girl, it’s not a matter of if he dies but when he dies! So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Why is this guy coughing so much…” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #4: Mr. “Wanna-be the next Jay-Z”

Back in the day every brotha wanted to be in a singing group like the Jackson 5 or in the band like the Commodores or Earth, Wind & Fire. Now it seems like every guy want to be a rapper!

This guy’s a huge Hip-Hop fan; in fact he’s totally obsessed with it! He listens to Hip-Hop music all day and all night long. He spends much of his time watching Hip-Hop videos. His “breadth” of knowledge centers around anything Hip-Hop related. Homeboy is a “student” of Hip-Hip. He knows who’s hot and who’s not in the rap game. He has studied the background of his favorite rappers, knowing all of the littlest details about them. If Hip-Hop music and culture was a college course he would have a 4.0!

Now he may sound like your average music fan but he’s much more than that. He actually believes that he’s going to be a rap star! How funny it that shit? This fool actually believes that he is going to become rich and famous, rapping on stage and starring in music videos surrounded by half-naked women! Umm..I don’t think so! Homeboy is a big-time dreamer! That’s what he does all day, sits around day-dreaming that he's going to be a big rap star! All he talks about is what’s he’s going to do, where he’s going to go and what he’s going to buy when he becomes a rap star.

He’s always writing rhymes and rapping around the house. At almost anytime you can catch this fool mumbling lyrics of some stupid song he wrote to himself or posing in the mirror pretending that he's at a photo shoot for the Vibe magazine or on the red carpet at the Grammy’s. He may be “solo” or apart of a group which is even worst because then you’ll have to deal with his silly-ass friends hanging around writing rhymes, “rehearsing” and having “pow-wow” sessions about how they’re going to take over the rap game. If he has at least some ambition (and some money) he may spend time “in the studio” and even doing little local shows. But don’t expect any collaborations with Jay-Z or him going on tour with Ludacris anytime soon!

He is a phony, going around trying to walk, talk, dress and act like a rap star. In his mind he is already a rap star and therefore he tries hard (but unsuccessfully) to adopt the lifestyle that he thinks big-time rap stars have. He may be conceited, loud and obnoxious. He may use his self-proclaim status as an up-and-coming rapper to try to get “groupie love” from silly-ass chicks that fall for his act. He plays Mr. Big Shot in front of other guys, especially other wanna-be rappers, making them think that he’s well on his way to stardom.

The bottom line with this guy is that he’s a freakin’ dreamer, a liar who has either very little talent or none at all! He’s the type of guy that can’t hold down a job, often quitting or getting fired and never seem to care because, after all, he’s “going to be a star”! He’s wasting his entire life away convinced that he’s going to be a rap star. It’s just not ever going to happen! Don’t get caught up in his lies and wishful thinking. You and him must face reality. He’s a damn fool and he’s making a fool out of you.

By the way, guys who want to be singers, music producers, CEO of record labels, music video directors, actors….brothas who want to be entertainment stars or businessmen all fall in this category!

The sad thing is that while most guys who fall in this category are in their 20’s, there are far too many brothas well into their 30’s (Lord knows I hope there aren’t any actually in their 40’s!) who still think they’re going to be platinum-selling rap artists! Give me a break!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Wanna-be the next Jay-Z” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy #5: Mr. “Wanna-be pro baller”

Drive by (but don’t stop) past basketball courts in your ‘hood. What do you see? All over the country there are men playing basketball (football and other sports) strictly for recreation but within these groups of men are bitter, frustrated, under-achieving, so-called athletes that sincerely believe that they have what it takes to make it at the pro level!

This piece of work is often arrogant. He may be a health nut that works out in the gym all of the time. I admit he may very well be a good looking brotha with a great body! But so what! His obsession with being in shape may cause him to be hard on you! He may hold you to physical standards that you don’t have any interest in meeting. See, the guy lives his life as if he’s actually a pro athlete so therefore he “expects” the woman he’s with to be perfect. He figures you wouldn’t see Kobe Bryant with a “regular” chick so why should he be with one.

Every sista knows a guy like this. He is the kind of guy that is obsessed with sports (especially the sport or sports that he plays). He watches sports on television non-stop. His favorite television channel is ESPN. He’ll watch the same sport highlights over and over again. He tries to attend professional sporting events as much as he can. Much of his income (he doesn’t have much) goes toward sport jerseys, hats, head and wristbands and other sports apparel. He reads sports magazines and the sports section in the newspaper is probably the only part of the paper he’s ever seen. He may spend a lot of time in sports bars drinking and debating with his friends, the bartender and complete strangers about all things sports.

All of what I said in the above paragraph may seem like normal guy “stuff” but this guy takes it to the extreme. His entire life is defined by sports. Outside of it, homeboy has no personality and it basically boring. He’s likely to be caught up in his past when he played sports in high school. He’s your classic jock with the classic “entitlement” jock mentality.

He is a dreamer, plain and simple! He may waste his time playing in summer, spring, adult leagues (or whatever the hell he calls it). He may try out for semi-pro or by some chance get invited to try out for professional teams. Girl, he won’t make it! He’s just doesn’t have it. He’s too slow, too fat, too old, too stupid…or all of the above.

Look, we all have had dreams, things that we wanted to do in life that just didn’t happen for us. I feel this guy’s “pain” (Ok, I’m lying, I don’t give a damn about his dreams..) but he needs a plan B, C, D…and maybe even plans E, F and G! This guy may be suffering with depression over never making it in pro sports. He’s often unemployed or holding down some dead-end job hoping that his sorry ass life will one day soon make a 360 degree transformation and he’ll become a rich and famous (or at least rich) pro athlete.

In his “glory days” maybe he was pretty good; even real good. Maybe he had (or at least had a chance to have) an athletic scholarship and attended college. Maybe he had to stop playing due to a “career-ending” injury. Maybe he actually played sports at the collegiate level. But the point is, whatever his “story”, he is not a professional athlete with a multi-million dollar contract and multi-million dollar shoe and other endorsement deals and he never will be!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Wanna-be pro baller” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!

Guy#6: Mr. “Treats my loved one like shit”

You can see by this guy's nickname that you’re not involved with this clown, your sister, girlfriend or some other loved one is. But even though he’s not your man, because you are so close and care so much about her, naturally you’re close to the relationship.

This guy mistreats your loved one. He treats her just like his nickname says-like shit!! He yells at her, insulting her by calling her terrible names. He’s the jealous type that often accuses her of cheating on him. Most likely she’s not though she should be! Anyway, this asshole is likely to be very abusive toward her. If your loved one and him have kids he’s abusive to them as well. The kids fear him and so does your loved one. He’s a selfish guy that has no respect for your loved one (or anybody else) and takes advantage of her any chance he gets. He’s likely to be cheating on her and you’re likely to know about it.

He might have even tried to hit on you!

He is an insecure punk that is likely to be an underachiever. Now he might be successful which could be part of the reason why your loved one stays with him (he gives her “stability”). But it’s much more likely that he's a nobody.

Anyway you slice it, this is a bad guy and your loved one should have left him a long time ago!

But your girl is in love with this fool! That’s how love is; it’ll make a fool out of a person. But it hurts you to see your girl used and abused by this fool. It ain’t even worth it, but no matter how much you try to get her to leave him she stays. This guy knows that he has her under his control. He preys on her weaknesses. If she ever tried to leave who knows what he’s liable to do! To see this happening to your girl breaks your heart.

This kind of man could be involved with your sister, cousin, mama, aunt…any other female close to you.

Why is this guy on the list?

Because the relationship that your loved one has with this chump will sour you on ever becoming too serious and getting married. The relationship started out great but you have watched the relationship gradually (or quickly) go from made in heaven to dwelling in hell! You may be the type of woman that takes your time when it comes to men and relationships. You “have friends”, you go out on dates and have a good time but you don’t have anything serious going on with anybody. But your loved one falls hard and quick for a guy and has plain ol’ bad luck when it comes to men.

Being so concerned about her might affect the relationship that you’re in because you’re likely to invest so much of your time making sure that she’s ok, meanwhile your perfectly healthy relationship gets “sick”. When someone you love is getting screwed over by a guy it’s only normal for you to want to take care of her and fight her battle for her. Now you can’t find or keep a good man because you’re too busy trying to help her straighten out her love life.
So, if someone you love is involved with Mr. “Treats my loved one like shit” and you think one day you might actually get married....

Girl, don’t do it!!

(Your husband could end up being ten times worst than this fool!)

Guy#7: Mr. “Too embarrassing”

There are various reasons why this guy may be too embarrassing to be out in public with:

He’s ugly
He’s too short
He’s too tall
He talks funny
He can’t dress worth a damn
He’s too passive
He’s too confrontational
He’s too loud
etc…..

I’m sure you could add more possible reasons why being out in public with this guy is a complete disaster. Being embarrassed in front of friends, family, co-workers, neighbors or complete strangers is not a good feeling. But if you’re involved with this guy it’s going to happen over and over again. You may try to change him or make it so that the things about him that embarrass you will at least be something you can deal with. But girl, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’re not the problem; he is.

To be fair, a guy like this might have good intentions. You and him may truly love each other. But in the long run homeboy’s more of a liability than an asset. Because regardless of how well you carry yourself, this guy is a joke and therefore you too become a joke. Once you sleep with him, move into his place and start cooking his meals, it ain’t so easy to distance yourself from him when he’s trying to hold your hand or slob you down in public!

The only thing that might save you from constantly being embarrassed by this guy is if he’s a home-body type or if you just keep your ass at home all of the time while he goes out and makes a fool of himself! But when he does you can bet that someone you know is going to see him and either call you or pay you a personal visit to give you all of the details.

Bottom line: This is the kind of guy that will make your social life miserable, and even after you leave him for the rest of your life you’ll regret the fact that you were ever linked to this guy and while you try to carry on as if he never existed, you won’t be able to because your family and friends will never let you forget about him!

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Too embarrassing” and you think one day you might actually marry this guy....

Girl, don’t do it!!