Guy#24: Mr. “Not ready yet”

Guess what ladies...

This is actually a good guy!

Well, for the most part…

Now there are some guys on this list that have good qualities but their bad qualities outweigh the good ones. This guy is overall a good guy. In fact, I dare to say that he’s a great guy. That’s why you fell in love with him. He treats you well. He respects you. He’s hard working. He’s responsible. He cares deeply about you. He gets along with your family and friends. Everybody just loves this guy!

Congratulations girl, you’ve got yourself a good man!!

But...

There’s only one “little” problem...

He hasn’t asked you to marry him yet!!

No big deal, you say...well, ok. But you’ve been seeing this guy for 10 years! An entire decade….and you don’t find it unusual that he hasn’t proposed to you yet?? Well, I do!!

How about the rest of the ladies reading this?

Listen, girl, it’s time for a wake-up call. It’s time for a serious reality check. If he hasn’t married you yet there’s a good chance that he won’t ever!

This kind of guy is stubborn and selfish. He loves you, he truly does, but he’s determined to do what’s in his best interest. Let’s assume that he’s faithful to you, that he’s been faithful throughout the entire relationship. That’s nice. But ask yourself: Is he truly committed? Because if he is, he would make you his wife. There are many possible reasons why he hasn’t married you yet. It’s likely that he’s intimidated by marriage. He loves being with you and everything, but the concept of marriage makes him nervous.

The crazy thing is he doesn’t mind making other commitments when it comes to the relationship. As I said before, he might be faithful to you. Maybe you all have joint credit cards and loans. Maybe you and him have bought cars and houses together. It won’t surprise me one bit if you all have 2, 3...5 or more children together! You and this guy basically have a family, living together as husband and wife and yet he won’t marry you!

This guy is full of excuses when it comes to why he’s not “ready” to get married. He will blame it on finances for example. He may claim that he can’t afford to buy an engagement ring. He may bring up the marriages of others (in your family or his) that have ended in divorce as examples of why you all shouldn’t “rush” to get married or why you all shouldn’t get married at all.

You really love this guy but as more years go by you have to start asking yourself: Does he really love me? You’re just not sure anymore. Your doubt will cause you to question everything that he’s ever said or done throughout the relationship. Why is this guy so bent on not marrying you? Maybe he has a dark past; skeletons in his closet. Maybe he’s already married! Maybe he’s gay...

I know you don’t even want to think about shit like that but you never know!

One thing you do know is that this guy is taking you and the relationship for granted. He wants the relationship to lasts but he wants it to do so on his own terms. You have always been fairly happy with this guy but now being with him is making you more and more upset and frustrated.

This relationship is really stressing your ass out!

You feel like you’ve invested and devoted a significant part of you life to this guy and the relationship but you haven’t gotten much out of it. The relationship may be losing its luster. It may seem boring and stale. You’ve been together with this guy for so long that you feel trapped and you can’t see or imagine life with him. But you’re not sure if you want to continue to live life, this way, with him. You’re ready to take that next step but it’s beginning to feel that as long as you stay in this relationship, unmarried, your life is put on hold; your future is uncertain.

Girl, it’s time to give this guy an ultimatum!

Either he marries you very soon or your ass is gone!

The thing is if this guy does finally marry you, he may always feel that you (and your family) pressured him and practically forced him to do it. Don’t be surprised if once you’ve married to this guy he will begin to change quickly. He will no longer be the man that you fell in love with and wanted to marry all those years. From the moment you walk down the aisle and he reluctantly says, “I do”, the relationship will head downhill...

And then you’ll be thinking...

“Maybe this fool was right! Maybe we should not have gotten married!”

So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Not ready yet” and you don’t think this guy will actually marry you one day....

Good!! Who cares! Get out and cut your losses!