Guy #13: Mr. “Somebody in the family will sleep with him or kill him...or both”
Keep it in the family?
Let me just go ahead and put it out there: If your man is fine and successful then it’s much more likely that someone in your family will sleep with him before anyone else does. Relatives like sisters, cousins, aunts, even your mama have first dibs on your man before your friends, co-workers, neighbors, or bitches you don’t know can get their hands on him.
Why? Because they may easily spend just as much time around him as you do. Girl, that’s why you shouldn't be so pressed to bring your man to all of your family’s many functions! If your cousin is having a cook-out, leave his ass at home and bring him a plate when you get back! Because if he shows up, the females in your family will see him as if he’s a juicy piece a meat about to be put on the grill!
This guy may have been involved with a relative of yours before he got involved with you. This may be a well-known fact or it may be a secret. That previous relationship could come back to haunt you one day. If he’s slept with someone in your family before what’s stopping him from doing again! It’s possible that he was even rejected by one of your relatives before he got involved with you. Or maybe he rejected the advances of one of your relatives. But now that you and him are together the turn-on of sneaking around on the down-low is just too much temptation for him and the relative!
Now I know I said that if your man is fine and successful that someone in your family is likely to sleep with him but he can be ugly as doo-doo and an overall complete failure in life and there is still a chance that he will fool around with someone in your family. Why, you ask? Because you and I both know that there are women in your family who are desperate! They are single or divorced, lonely or outgoing, bitter or sweet, overweight, underweight or the perfect body, poor or independently financial secure, ugly or freakin’ beautiful…but regardless of the many ways you could describe them one thing that they all have in common is that they don’t have a man!
They’re man-hungry and that means any man (so that doesn’t exclude yours) is fair game!
By the way, did you notice that I’ve used the word “relative” when speaking of a family member who could end up sleeping with your man? Well, I did that on purpose because let’s be honest, you can’t assume that the relative is a female. The person that may end up screwing your man and causing a devastating (and embarrassing) scandal in your family might be one of your openly gay or “creeping on the down-low” male relatives!
Murder was the case…
If your man is an asshole or you have people in your family that are assholes then there’s a real possibility that one of your relatives will kill your man! It could be a brother, sister, your sister’s husband, daddy, cousin, mama, granddaddy, grandmama, one of your kids…anybody who has your blood or linked to your family through marriage!
How will he get killed?
Hell, I don’t know, someone in your family might shoot him, stab him, throw him off the roof of your mama’s house, run his ass over in a car, poison his plate at the family reunion…
Who knows?
Yeah, this guy might be loved by everyone in your family, respected by all of your male relatives and lusted after by all of your female relatives or…
In this case, he can be hated by everyone in your family with them all placing bids to see which one of them gets the pleasure of taking his ass out! If someone in your family is likely to kill him then it’s obvious that he’s not well liked by your family. But it could be that he just has a problem with one person in the family. But sometimes that’s all it takes to turn a family reunion deadly.
I don’t want to make judgments attempting to determine what would justify your man being killed by one of your relatives. But maybe he badly mistreats you, beating you up whenever he feels like it. Maybe he mistreats your kids. Maybe he’s a thief always stealing from people in your family. Or maybe he’s just the type of guy who is always talking shit thinking he can intimidate others in your family until a relative finally gets tired of it and puts some bullets in his ass! Better yet, maybe he gets caught cheating on you with someone in your family in which that case you end up being the one to take his ass out!
There could be many motives for killing your man and many possible candidates in your family who could end up doing it. The point is this guy lives the kind of life in which unfortunately it’s likely that someone will take his ass out. And just like someone in your family is likely to sleep with him before a chick out on the street will, on the flip side of that, someone in your family is likely to put him six feet deep before any of his worst enemies on the street will.
So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Somebody in my family will sleep with him or kill him...or both” and you think one day you might marry actually this guy....
Girl, don’t do it!!
Let me just go ahead and put it out there: If your man is fine and successful then it’s much more likely that someone in your family will sleep with him before anyone else does. Relatives like sisters, cousins, aunts, even your mama have first dibs on your man before your friends, co-workers, neighbors, or bitches you don’t know can get their hands on him.
Why? Because they may easily spend just as much time around him as you do. Girl, that’s why you shouldn't be so pressed to bring your man to all of your family’s many functions! If your cousin is having a cook-out, leave his ass at home and bring him a plate when you get back! Because if he shows up, the females in your family will see him as if he’s a juicy piece a meat about to be put on the grill!
This guy may have been involved with a relative of yours before he got involved with you. This may be a well-known fact or it may be a secret. That previous relationship could come back to haunt you one day. If he’s slept with someone in your family before what’s stopping him from doing again! It’s possible that he was even rejected by one of your relatives before he got involved with you. Or maybe he rejected the advances of one of your relatives. But now that you and him are together the turn-on of sneaking around on the down-low is just too much temptation for him and the relative!
Now I know I said that if your man is fine and successful that someone in your family is likely to sleep with him but he can be ugly as doo-doo and an overall complete failure in life and there is still a chance that he will fool around with someone in your family. Why, you ask? Because you and I both know that there are women in your family who are desperate! They are single or divorced, lonely or outgoing, bitter or sweet, overweight, underweight or the perfect body, poor or independently financial secure, ugly or freakin’ beautiful…but regardless of the many ways you could describe them one thing that they all have in common is that they don’t have a man!
They’re man-hungry and that means any man (so that doesn’t exclude yours) is fair game!
By the way, did you notice that I’ve used the word “relative” when speaking of a family member who could end up sleeping with your man? Well, I did that on purpose because let’s be honest, you can’t assume that the relative is a female. The person that may end up screwing your man and causing a devastating (and embarrassing) scandal in your family might be one of your openly gay or “creeping on the down-low” male relatives!
Murder was the case…
If your man is an asshole or you have people in your family that are assholes then there’s a real possibility that one of your relatives will kill your man! It could be a brother, sister, your sister’s husband, daddy, cousin, mama, granddaddy, grandmama, one of your kids…anybody who has your blood or linked to your family through marriage!
How will he get killed?
Hell, I don’t know, someone in your family might shoot him, stab him, throw him off the roof of your mama’s house, run his ass over in a car, poison his plate at the family reunion…
Who knows?
Yeah, this guy might be loved by everyone in your family, respected by all of your male relatives and lusted after by all of your female relatives or…
In this case, he can be hated by everyone in your family with them all placing bids to see which one of them gets the pleasure of taking his ass out! If someone in your family is likely to kill him then it’s obvious that he’s not well liked by your family. But it could be that he just has a problem with one person in the family. But sometimes that’s all it takes to turn a family reunion deadly.
I don’t want to make judgments attempting to determine what would justify your man being killed by one of your relatives. But maybe he badly mistreats you, beating you up whenever he feels like it. Maybe he mistreats your kids. Maybe he’s a thief always stealing from people in your family. Or maybe he’s just the type of guy who is always talking shit thinking he can intimidate others in your family until a relative finally gets tired of it and puts some bullets in his ass! Better yet, maybe he gets caught cheating on you with someone in your family in which that case you end up being the one to take his ass out!
There could be many motives for killing your man and many possible candidates in your family who could end up doing it. The point is this guy lives the kind of life in which unfortunately it’s likely that someone will take his ass out. And just like someone in your family is likely to sleep with him before a chick out on the street will, on the flip side of that, someone in your family is likely to put him six feet deep before any of his worst enemies on the street will.
So, if you’re involved with Mr. “Somebody in my family will sleep with him or kill him...or both” and you think one day you might marry actually this guy....
Girl, don’t do it!!
posted by ezola at
11:27 PM
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